


Married at First Sight

by NiallLovesLouis



Series: Married at First Sight [1]
Category: NCT (Band), Pentagon (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 2tae end up together, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Just confirming because sometimes i misread the tags, M/M, Slow Burn, Soft Lee Taeyong, Soft Moon Taeil, also taeyong and donghyuck are brothers, endgame 2tae, its not a lot of angst but i feel like i should tag it, like irl, ok i think im done, side hyuckhei because the world doenst have enough of this ship, they re both soft, veeery slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-01-12 23:19:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18456674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiallLovesLouis/pseuds/NiallLovesLouis
Summary: "I'm sorry I'm late, the only thing worse than traffic is a worried mother."His fiancé laughed at his own joke, voice as smooth as his looks, either not worried at all, or good at hiding his nerves, and Taeyong tried to answer with the same lightness."It's okay, just had me worried for a second there."___________Or the Married at First Sight au no one would've expected.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CurlyKitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlyKitten/gifts).



> A special thanks to my girl (you know who you are) for cheering me on during the whole fic, and being my number one fan <3 (and also for checking my grammar XD) I started writing this before 2tae had become my favourite ship, but my love for them grew in size just as the fic did in words... hope you like it :*

  
_... And today, at the start of this journey, I promise to love and cherish you until the end of our story._

Taeyong put the vows in his pocket again and tried not to roll his eyes at his own cringey speech.

He looked nervously at the guests on his side, just his family and a couple of friends from home. His brother waved at him happily, probably noticing how his hands were shaking, and he waved back with a smile.

It was a beautiful day, not windy nor cloudy, just cold enough that he wouldn't suffocate beneath his suit. Yet he still felt like he couldn't breathe properly.

It's not like he thought his pair wouldn't show up, the other's own guests were there, it's just that there was a chance that they might not be made for each other, which sounded as terrifying as it was.

He tried not to think about it though, because this was a tv show and the cameras would certainly notice his frown, and that particular thought was making him dizzy.

Suddenly though, the voices quieted down, the cameras pointed at the opposite side of the aisle in a hurry to see the groom, and everyone's heads copied the movement. He gulped nervously, eyeing the man that was the center of attention.

He had to admit, his groom was way more attractive than Taeyong would expect, simply because he hadn't exactly written "beautiful" on the list of his expectations.

The boy had brown eyes, dark hair neatly combed, and plump lips forming a charming smile that clearly caused a few guests to swoon over.

Maybe his nerves took over his brain for a moment, but he felt right away like he wasn't the one for him.

He wouldn't ever voice that opinion of course, because he was aware he didn't know that man at all, but Taeyong was one to believe in love at first sight, and the spark that he had _not_ felt the moment he saw his future husband was enough to worry him.

"I'm sorry I'm late, the only thing worse than traffic is a worried mother."

His fiancé laughed at his own joke, voice as smooth as his looks, either not worried at all, or good at hiding his nerves, and Taeyong tried to answer with the same lightness.

"It's okay, just had me worried for a second there."

The handsome boy laughed at that, and Taeyong felt like they could be friends. He would patiently wait for the chemistry to show up.

"Nakamoto Yuta. You can just call me babe though."

Taeyong smiled at him, looking around at his family to assure them he was still going to marry him, because knowing them like he did, they were probably on the edge of their seats. His brother let out a squeal of joy that was pretty much heard by everyone, causing their mother to admonish him and his boyfriend to hit him playfully on his arm.

"Lee Taeyong. The child over there is my brother Donghyuck."

They only had time to smile at each other again before the place went silent, as the priest arrived and started his speech.

Taeyong took that time to admire Yuta's flawless face. How could a man like him still be single? There was always the hint of a charming smile on his lips, and at some point a single strand of hair fell on his forehead, somehow perfecting even more his face. He could be on the cover of a magazine. He could seduce any straight guy he wanted.

And still, Taeyong didn't feel an overwhelming desire to get closer to him, to steal a kiss.

Then again, he didn't think he had ever felt that.

He could hold onto the minor attraction he had for the man beside him, but he somehow felt like when he connects a charger to his phone, and they fit, but the phone doesn't charge for whatever reason.

Maybe that was a stupid comparison. Donghyuck would probably flick his nose and tell him to leave the metaphors for the professionals if he heard him. But he was scared, and Donghyuck already had a boyfriend, so it didn't matter.

He could always perfect his comparison later on. Hopefully he wouldn't need to.

"And now, if you wrote them, you may read your vows."

Yuta smiled at him, and actually winked at one of the guests on his side, before his sultry voice filled the chapel.

"I didn't write anything. Hopefully, if this goes well, I'll write you something."

Taeyong laughed nervously, gripping the paper on his pocket with his sweaty hands, until he noticed they were all looking at him, waiting for his answer.

He smiled in embarrassment, licking his lips and running a hand through his hair. 

He felt the folded paper on his jacket pulsating through the fabric.

"I've got nothing either. I might, in a few weeks."

The guests laughed at that, and Taeyong felt a tiny bit of relief. He couldn't help but wonder if this was already a hint that their marriage wasn't meant to be. Or if this was him being afraid of this being a mistake. He really wasn't the type to take a risk like this one.

He gracefully accepted the ring Yuta slipped on his finger, and did the same, without looking the other in the eye, regretting it right after.

He just had a feeling he still wouldn't have anything to say in a few weeks.

 


	2. Week 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! As promised, the second chapter is up! I'm not completely happy with this, but I'll admit I'm too lazy to rewrite it XD anyway I hope you like it!!!

  
The first night, they went to a party with all the lovers currently on the show. Nothing fancy, just drinks and a dance floor, nothing unexpected.

Taeyong danced a bit with his husband, and he had to admit that the boy was great company. He even felt slightly more attracted to him after seeing his sultry (if not exaggerated) dance moves.

Yute came behind him, hands on his husband's hips.

"Hey babe, my lips are dry. Will you kiss them or will I have to go get a drink?"

Tayong laughed, turning around to kiss him and deciding against it at the last minute. Just to tease him, of course.

"I don't know, I'm kinda thirsty actually..."

Yuta rolled his eyes with a huff, before turning around and most probably going to get the drinks.

Taeyong smiled, sort of fond already, and put his hands in his pockets awkwardly, realizing he was in the middle of the dance floor alone.

He took the time to observe the other couples. The one that caught his eye first was a pretty simple pair. A small brunette with a black haired boy, both pretty shy as they talked quietly with each other, with enough distance from him that he could only see the nervous smiles and blushes. Taeyong wondered if they were going to last... For some reason he hoped they did.

He turned away from them, walking to stand by the door because he realized all cameras could see him from where he had been and their presence had suddenly become unbearable.

There were about twelve more participants, six different pairs, but only a few also caught his eye. One was a tall, dark-haired guy, because he was on the dance floor, not dancing but instead simply talking and laughing with his husband, a slightly taller brunette. They also seemed to have chemistry and Taeyong wondered wether he was the only one who felt he wouldn't be able to get through this show.

The other couple he noticed was the opposite, though. It gave him both relief and curiosity. It was probably the most awkward pair on the house, and they were both by the windows, not dancing at all. The taller one was wearing a serious expression, only breaking it every few seconds to replace it with a smile that didn't seem hostile but definitely looked awkward. The smaller one though, with dark hair and shy smile, that seemed much more genuine, was what really grabbed his attention.

That boy was beautiful, and not in Yuta's charming, masculine way. It was more like an angelic, god-like, beauty. And he wasn't even exaggerating, the guy just had the purest smile, as tense as the situation was clearly making them.

He looked away a few seconds later, after the serious one caught him looking and glared at him, almost daring him to check his husband again. Taeyong almost felt the need to apologize.

"Sorry it took me so long, I was trying all the drinks to see the one that tasted better." He almost jumped when Yuta appeared in front of him, two drinks in hand. "There, i think you'll like this one, it doesn't have a high level of alcohol."

Taeyong rolled his eyes, taking his drink and eyeing it suspiciously, resisting the urge to look that stranger's way again. He looked at his husband, eyebrow raised.

"You do know that if I get drunk I might just fall asleep as soon as we arrive at the hotel."

Yuta's eyes widened and he stopped drinking, quickly taking the other's drink from his hands, and Taeyong was starting to like spending time with him.

"Fine, yeah, this one has a lot of alcohol in it." Yuta had a cup in each hand, glaring at him before switching his attention to the glasses, probably considering drinking both of them. He ended up throwing the contents to the nearest plant. "You're a dick."

"I thought you liked them?"

He trailed his eyes to his husband's lower regions, which caused the latter to choke, telling Taeyong he would divorce him right then if he refused to sleep with him, and he felt himself forgetting about the stranger for the rest of the night.

 

\-----

 

Their nuptial night was, to his surprise and satisfaction, actually great. They had pretty good chemistry and Taeyong would have definitely put that night on his top 5.

They also got along pretty well (though to be fair, he usually got along with everyone), and he was a good audience to Yuta's constant jokes. He could see himself falling in love with someone as funny and carefree as that boy was.

"Are you cooking me breakfast?"

Taeyong laughed, not turning his eyes away from the frying pan, flinching when he heard Yuta dragging his chair and sitting down, not keeping the sounds to a minimum at all.

He put the scrambled eggs on the plate he had left beside him, finally stealing a look at his husband, who somehow looked as charming as always, even with his eyes half closed as he dozed off on his chair.

Only then he remembered that the other had asked him a question.

"Yeah, since you can't cook to save your life."

He turned off the stove, and just as the domesticity of the situation hit him, he wondered if the other relationships were going better or worse than theirs.

"I could, but neither of us would like it, so I'm actually sparing you the stomach ache."

Taeyong rolled his eyes as he brought the plates to the already set table, and he didn't know yet if the fact that Yuta hadn't done a single thing to help since waking up was annoying or not.

He sat down opposite to him, looking at the food for a moment before deciding to speak.

"How do you think the other couples are doing?"

Yuta shrugged, eating as if nothing had been asked, his messy hair almost touching the juice on his cup, prompting Taeyong reach out and tuck them behind the younger's ear.

"Thank god I asked for someone who could cook! I married the right person." Taeyong smiled, and would have asked his question again hadn't Yuta continued the sentence. "I don't know about that... Do you know the tall guy with black hair? His name is Doyoung, I got his number, and he said he's getting along with Jenny!"

Taeyong frowned, looking at his husband as he finished chewing.

"I thought he was with a man?"

He did remember seeing a girl there, but he was pretty sure her pair wasn't the tall boy they were talking about. He drank his juice, waiting for his husband to take a break from eating to answering him. It was hard talking to Yuta when he was hungry.

"Yeah, yeah, I might've gotten the name wrong." The younger shrugged again, and he seemed so focused on his food and his food only, Taeyong was surprised when he asked something instead of taking the opportunity to cut their conversation short. "Why do you ask, though?"

Taeyong took his time chewing, trying not to look too nervous.

He had not been expecting that question, and if he was being honest, he didn't really know why himself. If he had wanted to have something to compare their relationship to, or it had been that beautiful stranger creeping in the back of his mind again, making him wonder if him and his half were still as awkward as they seemed on that dance floor.

"Just curious..."

They were quiet for a moment, and he started to think that maybe that hadn't been the right thing to say.

He ate the rest of his toast, trying to look as casual as possible because he had just remembered that there were cameras around them.

"Do you think we're doing well?"

He looked at his husband all of a sudden, almost shocked at how blunt he had just been. He didn't even manage to say anything, until he noticed Yuta's serious face, begging for an answer, and felt bad for not having reassured him yet.

"Yeah... I think we're doing good."

Yuta smiled widely, looking almost relieved, and maybe Taeyong needed the reassurance too, watching as the younger got up and took both their plates to the sink.

He really wanted to feel as happy as that boy looked, but he wasn't sure wether he was actually falling in love with him, or just trying so hard to that he thought he was when he wasn't.

He barely managed to give him a warm smile.

Yes, he definitely needed reassurance.

"Me too. Go get dressed, I'll take care of this."

Yuta winked at him, laughing as he almost dropped a glass and managed to catch it at the last minute, and Taeyong felt himself getting over the thoughts of them, of the couples, of that stranger...

 

\-----

 

  
They arrived slightly late at the dinner. Taeyong had thought it would be good, because they wouldn't have to go through the awkward silence of being alone with some unknown couple. He changed his opinion once they arrived and all five couples stopped and stared at them, coming to say hi all at once.

He automatically gripped Yuta's arm, but the other gave him a reassuring smile, so quick and discreet that probably no one but the psychologists watching from another room had noticed.

Still, it was enough to warm Taeyong's heart, and got him to relax, even as he saw his husband making friends with about everyone in the room.

He greeted all of them, and they all seemed nice enough, so he decided he didn't have a reason to be nervous, for now. The first ones to welcome him were actually the shy and tall pair, and he quickly realized that they were sweet enough. They were both pretty discreet, one more than the other, but made him feel comfortable.

There was the one from the dance floor a few days prior, the "Doyoung" his husband had talked about and his pair, both polite towards him, but also only spent five seconds before turning their full attention to the story Yuta was telling someone else on the other side of the room.

Taeyong sighed as he sat down on one of the couches, that seemed way bigger now that he was there alone, knowing he had been standing without company for too long and it would get awkward any moment.

He noticed the only girl present, that had only nodded her head once he arrived, absorved in a conversation with whom he assumed was her husband, and the tall guy that had glared at him at that party, and didn't seem really amused at the moment either.

"Hi..."

He turned around abruptly at the sound, almost forgetting where he was for a moment. He struggled to find out who had spoken, until he realized he had turned to the wrong side, and standing behind him the whole time had been the beautiful man he had seen the week before.

"Hi! Sorry, I was distracted..."

He spoke too quickly, his hands moved a bit weirdly, and he was pretty sure that the greek god had noticed, but the sweet smile that he received was kinda absolutely worth it.

"It's okay. I'm Moon Taeil."

He offered Taeyong his small hand, which he promptly took, also a smile on his face because he had never touched a skin this soft before. He could feel his heartbeat accelerating.

"Lee Taeyong."

And as soon as he had came, Moon Taeil went in his husband's direction, after another smile and a bow of his head.

He would have considered following him, even finding out whatever the girl was saying that caused her husband to laugh and Taeil to duck his head shyly as soon as he arrived, but another person had came to say hi and he got lost in the small talk.

When all of them finally sat down at the table, he didn't know wether to be relieved he had Yuta by his side to provide safety, or nervous because he was sitting by the focus of the main table.

"So what are the reasons you guys came here?" As soon as they had gotten comfortable in their seats Yuta had started to talk, and everyone had been sort of participating on whatever was being discussed by the majority, as well as on their own private conversations, but of course that as soon as silence threatened to overcome them, his husband had to say something again, and drag Taeyong into it. "Go on Taeyongie, you first."

He rolled his eyes, blushed slightly at the attention, and tried to look at his beef only.

"Well... I wanted to find love."

His husband rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around him, and he didn't know wether that was comforting or just embarrassing him further. There were too many eyes on him.

"C'mon that's what everyone says! Don't you have something better?"

Taeyong noticed Taeil looking at them from the other side of the table. Everyone was, except the girl, that was looking at her partner, but of course that he noticed the black haired boy first.

He pushed his husband's arm away, giving him an annoyed look, no heat behind it.

"My younger brother had a boyfriend and I didn't."

Yuta laughed brightly at that, poking him in the chest and winking, and Taeyong sighed of relief as he heard chuckles around the table and saw the other getting ready to ask someone else.

He saw the black haired guy, whose name he now knew really was Doyoung, smiling and sitting a bit straighter in his chair.

"I, personally, was a victim of my parents' obsessive need of seeing me married to someone."

Doyoung's husband raised an eyebrow, drinking his champagne with such passive aggressiveness he didn't need to say what he did to prove he had been offended.

"Good to know you had no interest in falling in love."

That got the first to choke on his food, eyes wide as the name "Jaehyun" escaped his lips, and he tried his best to unsay what he did, without ever actually apologizing.

He watched amused as the couple interacted, no anger behind any of the threats being made, the smirk on Jaehyun's lips ensuring everyone on the table of that. He wondered wether he and Yuta had the same chemistry when they were talking.

"If we're being honest here, I only came for the action really, if you know what I mean."

The girl from before had been the one to pipe up, and he opened his eyes in shock, laughing along with Yuta. He noticed that everyone seemed amused, besides the tall guy who he had learned was called Dong Si Cheng, and only smiled, and Taeil who blushed furiously and kept eating his soup.

"Daisy..." Hongseok rolled his eyes, returning the kiss that the girl, Daisy, had pretty much forced on him.

The conversation kept going until they were a bit more familiarized with each other, all couples having spoken except the one that Taeyong was the most curious about.

"What about you guys? Taeil?"

The poor boy almost jumped at Yuta's question, looking back and forth between him and Sicheng, before finally focusing back on his plate.

Taeyong was about to interrupt and tell his husband off for pressuring other contestants, but Taeil was already speaking.

"I... Hmm... I guess I was a bit lonely."

He was taken aback by the honesty. He could feel half the table looking at him with pity, witch kind of pissed off Taeyong, and the remaining half just incredibly awkward. Except the girl, that was not so subtly whispering to her husband, and Sicheng that seemed torn between saying something to Taeil or nothing at all.

Taeyong decided to intervene just before things got awkward.

"What about you, babe? You still haven't answered the question."

He smirked while talking, teasing him obviously, just to take the tension off the table, but as always, Yuta seemed unaffected and had no problem in answering.

"I needed someone to pay the rent with."

Everyone laughed, Taeil included, and for once, he was thankful that Yuta never took anything seriously.

 

  
\-----

 

  
Taeyong wasn't really that affectionate in general. He liked to show love, he just usually wasn't all over someone, and never really saw the point in that. Still he couldn't help himself but grab onto Yuta's hand as they all sat on that room with the presenter and the specialists (whom he kept calling them judges on accident and Yuta kept laughing at him for).

He didn't have many doubts about wanting to stay or not, but he was still a bit scared that either Yuta would say he wasn't really enjoying this after all, or the specialists would conclude they weren't working and never would.

It didn't help to see all the other contestants either. Yanan and Shinwon (former shy couple) were there for longer that should be allowed, because the first was shy, and the second talked a lot, but mostly gave answers unrelated to the questions.

Daisy and Hongseok were good too, although she talked a bit too much about the sex, and eventually everyone stopped trying to get her to shut up and the presenter simply mouthed to someone off camera that they'd edit that out later.

The other two that hadn't said much during dinner, one was Jimin and the other he didn't remember the name but he thought sounded similar to "Hongseok", also seemed fond of each other, but weren't really that great. They complained about lack of chemistry, the specialists gave them some advice on what to improve and how, and somehow he felt a little bit better seeing that not everyone was in a perfect relationship.

Still, when they sat on the couch and he saw everyone looking at him, plus all the cameras and mics, his fingers tightened around Yuta's.

"Taeyong and Yuta, looking very close." The presenter smiled at them, sharing a look with the specialists. He had talked to her briefly on the wedding day, the woman had asked him a few questions as they waited for Yuta, and he had sympathized with her, actually felt calmer afterwards. "How's marriage going?"

He looked at the man by his side, not knowing how to answer that, but Yuta didn't seem to notice as he smiled back at the curly haired woman.

"Good... I have a good feeling about this."

"Taeyong doesn't seem to share that opinion."

It was a speacialist that spoke, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, but the hint of a smile on his lips showed him he was joking. Which didn't mean his heart didn't stop for a moment there.

"I do! It's just..." He laughed nervously, feeling sorry for Yuta because his hands were way too sweaty. "This whole... ceremony makes me nervous."

He noticed at the corner of his eyes that a few contestants nodded their heads in agreement, but he locked eyes with his husband again, kind of trying to assure him that, right now, his fears weren't related to the two of them.

"Yes, I can see some of you are tense. But there's absolutely no need to! This is an experiment, at best, so at the end of the day if you didn't find love, you didn't. But you'll still take something from this, something you can use in your favour in future relationships." Another specialist spoke, this one a bit younger, but he seemed nicer than the first one. He also appeared to be more relaxed, as if he wasn't taking this that seriously, judging by the knowing smirk he had on his face. "Even if it's just the sex."

He choked on his own saliva at that, and Yuta laughed and winked at the man, not helping him at all.

"I guess you're right..."

He could hear the other contestants muffling their laughs, and their eyes never left the couple the whole time they sat there, but Taeyong didn't pay them attention, focused instead on the questions that they were being asked, the basic ones just to make sure both of them were sort of happy, until they were finally dismissed.

He kept holding onto his husband's hand as they sat back on the seats from before, his heart still beating a bit fast as he watched Taeil and Sicheng, the last couple, going to the couch.

That one was hard to watch, simply because part of him felt embarrassed for the both of them. They just didn't have chemistry at all. Even though he was smiling a bit more, Sicheng seemed to repel any form of contact coming from Taeil, and the latter didn't even seem to get hurt from that, just simply awkward. Which was almost funny, because Taeyong had never seen someone as good looking as Taeil being so impossibly shy.

Their time on the couch consisted of them saying "we're working on that" to literally every question, Sicheng clearly considering to quit, only deciding against it after the specialists explained him the benefits of staying and learning from this, and Taeil surprisingly wanting to stay.

Taeyong decided he didn't really like this, because it felt like they were intruding on someone else's lives, as well as everyone intruding on his. But he had known what was expecting him when he signed up for this.

Still, it caught him off guard when he realized the following week he'd have to go to Yuta's own house and hometown, and go meet his family and friends. Needless to say, an awfully intimate step. Maybe that was why he didn't speak much on their way home, simply smiled at most of what Yuta said.

This upcoming week would either bring them closer or not, but hopefully make it clearer for Taeyong what he exactly felt.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I hope it wasn't too bad! And I also hope you don't find Daisy too weird, but she's inspired on someone that I know would love to date Hongseok in real life, and I also used her to try and bring some humour to the story, although I might've failed XD I'll start to review the third chapter soon, and post it next week probably! I'd set a day, but I'm not good with deadlines XD anyways, feel free to leave kudos and comments cause they make me happy!


	3. Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Im back! Sorry for the wait, i actually completely forgot i hadnt posted the third chapter yet XD  
> Anyway, here it is! Hope you like it!!!

 

  
"You know what, I really didn't think they'd actually get us a flight to Japan..."

Taeyong spoke quietly, sighing in relief as he put his seatbelt on and the car started to move.

He was completely worn out from the three hour car trip, the two hour flight, and the hour they spent, on their feet, waiting for their ride to the hotel (because they weren't staying at Yuta's house), but he had actually been wondering about that for a while, so he said it as soon as they got in the car.

"Yeah, but they kinda had to. We couldn't spend both weeks at _your_ hometown. It would be unfair, and if your parents were dicks it would be unbearable."

Yuta still seemed to have all the energy in the world as he sent a smile his way, feet already free of shoes, hair messy from all the running.

"They're not."

He let his head fall back, so tired he didn't even feel like talking, but he had started the conversation so now he couldn't cut it short.

"Yeah well, look at you." He opened his eyes, only then realizing he had closed them, and turned his head to his side, eyebrow raised, but his husband rolled his eyes. "You're not a dick, so they can't be either, right?"

"Oh god..."

Yuta laughed, and he closed his eyes again, fully ready to sleep, praying the conversation would end there.

He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't nervous to meet the other's family. It was a big step to any relationship, and seeing as theirs had barely started and Taeyong didn't even know yet how he actually felt about Yuta, he was scared it would be _too_ big.

He curled in on himself a bit more, trying to get comfortable, but ended up reaching for his jacket to warm himself up. He still had a few hours to sleep, and spent a few seconds watching the never ending cars passing by before remembering that doing that usually made him sick.

He closed his eyes again. Getting some sleep was his best option, because right now he wasn't going to be able to think straight, and soon enough all he would be able to see were the cons of coming on this trip. Yes, sleeping sounded perfect.

He almost jumped as he felt something hit his shoulder, and was ready to pretty much attack Yuta, but opened his eyes just in time to see his husband, completely asleep, laying on him. 

All previous signs of energy were gone from the younger's face, replaced by a very soft expression instead, completed with a trail of drool already forming on the corner of Yuta's lips.

He rolled his eyes with a smile, not having the heart to push him away, and tried to ignore how uncomfortable he was now that he couldn't move, in favour of getting some rest.

He closed his eyes, this time only opening them again after the sound of knuckles hitting the glass inside the cab signaled their arrival. 

 

  
\-----

 

  
"So how'd you like my family?"

They were finally back at the hotel, after spending their first day with his husband's relatives. Luckily for him, the family members were all really sweet, way calmer than Yuta, and Taeyong had felt himself relaxing within the first hour.

"They were all very nice!" Yuta had just left the shower, walking around with a towel hanging low on his waist, while Taeyong was laying on the bed, going through the channels without much interest, just so that he wouldn't fall asleep. "And they weren't cocky at all, makes me wonder where'd you get that from."

His husband threw him his towel at that, and Taeyong chuckled, lazily throwing it back, almost disappointed that Yuta had gone back inside the bathroom.

"Do you think the other couples are having a harder time than us?"

He was at the point where he wasn't really scared anymore about talking freely around Yuta, so he actually asked without thinking much of it. He even winked at his husband once he appeared again, this time wearing boxers.

"You mean cause not everyone's a delight like me?" He made an offended expression as soon as Taeyong started to laugh. "Dick. I've talked to Doyoung a couple of times, I think he's having a great time with Jenny."

"Jaehyun." He rolled his eyes, finally settling for the news channel, only to let his head fall back on the pillow again.

"That." Yuta went over to him and shook his head almost violently, the water previously dripping from his hair now leaving Taeyong wet. The older protested, threatened Yuta even, but the latter went over and kissed his cheek (which he promptly rubbed after, just out of spite). "Who do you think's doing good?"

"I don't know... Now that I think about it, Doyoung and Jaehyun did seem pretty close during the dinner _and_ ceremony." Yuta nodded his agreement, muttering an "annoyingly so". "Hongseok and Daisy... I couldn't figure out yet wether they're in love or just having sex."

Yuta's eyes shone at that, and he sat on the bed after choosing a shirt to put on.

"I've got Daisy's number! I don't know about him but she's an animal. I certainly wouldn't mind-"

"Wouldn't mind what?"

Taeyong raised an eyebrow at his husband, but he just shrugged and rolled his eyes.

" _I certainly wouldn't mind_ , if me and you..." he crawled a bit closer to Taeyong, his face close to the other's, teasingly kissing his neck. "...got a bit of action too."

Taeyong laughed, poking Yuta's chest until they were looking into each other's eyes.

He didn't know if he wasn't in the mood because he was tired or because he didn't want to be intimate with the brunette again until he figured out his feelings, but either way he wasn't doing anything other than sleep tonight.

"What about the small one with the prince?"

"Taeil?"

He rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed with himself that after saying it he had thought about Taeil too.

"Jimin..."

Yuta shrugged and sat on the bed again, probably disappointed that they weren't making out.

"I doubt they're going to make it far in this."

That got him curious, and the previous mood shifted slightly. At least in his head.

"Why do you say that?"

Yuta shrugged again, standing up to return to the bathroom, no pants on, maybe hoping that Taeyong would change his mind.

"I just think that you can see when two people don't fit... if they don't have the connection when they first meet, they're never going to have it, no matter how much you force it upon them." He was now combing his hair, still looking at him, but pouting because he had to finish his routine instead of having sex. "Same thing with Taeil and Sicheng."

Taeyong didn't know how that last part made him feel, but maybe it was disappointment.

He layed back down, not bothering to ask anything more because Yuta had turned the dryer on.

 

  
\-----

 

  
The week passed by faster than expected. He had fun with Yuta's friends and family, they were all warm and welcoming, with that pinch of extravagance that made his husband so special.

He still wasn't sure about his feelings, but, unlike what he had thought, meeting everyone didn't put more pressure on him to fall in love with Yuta. In fact, their easiness towards the whole experience convinced Taeyong that he should just go with it, without questioning his emotions every five minutes.

All in all, it was good to get back to their apartment. They were both too tired to move though, and ended up falling asleep on the bed through lunch, which sadly meant they only had the time to eat a snack before having to go to the dinner (and Taeyong also had to change clothes because he refused to wear those he had on, that were filled with bacteria from the airport).

They still made it sooner than the week before, although he wished they hadn't once he saw Daisy and Hongseok there already, in a heated make out session.

He looked away awkwardly, not making any attempts on letting them know they were there because he just knew Yuta was about to do that.

"Taeyongie, we should come back later, once those two finish eating each other's faces."

Yuta spoke loudly enough for Daisy to laugh and her pair to blush, and Taeyong smiled, wondering wether they should go over there or wait for them to come.

"I'm not against that idea."

She got up to greet them, Hongseok following behind, now rolling his eyes as he sneaked his arm around his wife's waist, but it looked like he was doing it to prevent her from invading their personal space.

"Sorry, she doesn't really mean it."

She made an outraged expression then, and looked like she was about to protest, but chose to stay quiet after Hongseok looked her way.

"So I assume you two are doing okay?"

He was once again grateful for Yuta's social skills, because that was what was making this conversation bearable.

" _Better_ than okay. Don't be fooled by my man's soft eyes, sweetest smile, and sculpted by god jawline, he's an absolute _animal_ in-"

"Daisy what the f-"

"-bed, I can assure you he-"

"That's a great story!"

Taeyong was actually speechless, thankful that Yuta had cut the story short, and probably so was Hongseok, judging by his blush and awkward smile. Daisy just sighed, saying something about the three of them being boring, and suddenly jumping in excitement once she saw Doyoung coming in, claiming he was way more badass than them. Which meant he listened to all her erotic stories.

Yuta then went and joined Jaehyun, but he stayed behind and talked to Hongseok for a while instead because he was actually really nice, besides being ridiculously good looking.

He only turned around when he heard Taeil and Sicheng coming in. Of course that neither of them said much after the polite "Good evening", but as soon as Yuta dragged the blonde boy away from Taeil to talk about whatever, Taeyong couldn't help but move closer.

"Hey!" Taeil seemed a bit startled by him, probably not expecting anyone to talk to him, but he immediately formed a warm smile that Taeyong returned. "How was your week? Was it at your hometown?"

Taeil was clearly nervous, facing him for two seconds before choosing the ground, and Taeyong decided to not look at him so intently.

"No... we went to China."

He only looked at Taeyong in the end, another shy smile on his face, and then another that was sent Sicheng's way. For the first time, he saw the blonde smiling back.

"Wow, that's sick! I've never been there..."

Taeil finally seemed a bit less reluctant and more interested, his eyes widening at Taeyong's response, mouth opening to answer him.

"I hadn't been there either, I- oh! Hi!" He stopped talking abruptly, kind of sobering up a bit, and smiled at someone behind Taeyong. He didn't have the time to turn around before the person was already by their side, and he hid his frustration the best he could.

"Hi, how are you doing?"

And Taeyong felt disappointed because as nice as Hoseok was, he didn't get to hear Taeil like he had wanted to.

Still, he contented himself with talking to the both of them, until it was time to eat and Sicheng almost possessively grabbed his husband's hand, dragging him away without sparing Taeyong a second glance.

He went to find Yuta then, pretending that that didn't sting at leats a little.

 

 

\----

 

 

He needed the salt. His soup was great, but it _needed_ salt.

The thing was, whoever had decided the places had put him _right next_ to Sicheng. And right next to Sicheng, was the _salt_. And he was scared of Sicheng, so he was definitely not going to ask him to pass him the salt, he'd rather eat his soup tasteless.

"So how was Japan? Had you ever been there Taeyong?"

He looked at Doyoung a bit startled, but was quick to smile, forgetting the salt for a moment.

"No, I hadn't, and I enjoyed it a lot." He smiled a bit awkwardly, which was partly weird because he was getting more comfortable around these people, but he could feel Sicheng also looking at him. "The flights were really tiring though."

"Yeah he fell asleep practically on top of me as soon as we got back this morning."

Half the couples laughed at Yuta's intervention, but he rolled his eyes, promptly pushing him away as soon as the younger tried to make contact.

"Well now we're even, you fell asleep on me too when we arrived in Japan."

He suddenly remembered everyone was watching, so he refrained himself from ruffling Yuta's hair. He didn't know if that was because it seemed intimate, or because he was scared they'd get the wrong idea of them. Not that them being close was a wrong idea. They _were_ close. But they weren't a perfect married couple yet.

"Fine, we're even. Don't push me away though, there's no need to be salty."  
  
He almost looked at the salt again, stopped in time or else he'd have to hear the whole "oh my god it was just an expression" straight from Yuta, but he remembered that the soup was tasteless once again.

"You two look so married already."

He almost choked then, thankful that he didn't because he got to hear Doyoung's answer to Jaehyun's observation.

"Yeah, like us but without the layer of handsomeness."

Yuta laughed whole heartedly, and he smiled too, thinking about how he had finally finished the soup instead, because if he thought about what had just been said he surely wouldn't be able to either smile, or keep the food in his stomach.

He looked around though, because everyone, even Sicheng, was smiling and talking now, much more comfortable than the week before, and Taeyong had a bit of hope for all of them. Maybe they'd get out of this with the love of their lives.

He could have been wrong, but the following day was the ceremony, and everyone stayed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, i hope this wasn't too bad... ehe  
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments, they make my day! <3


	4. Week 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here's another chapter!! Look at me, posting on time!! Hope you like itttt! <3

 

 

"So, you're happy?"

There were about a million different ways to answer his brother's question, and Taeyong was trying to figure out which one was the more convenient to use.

If he had meant wether he was happy with the man that he had been matched with, or if he could see himself _being_ happy with that man in the future, it was way too soon to answer.

And if he wanted to just be sure that Taeyong was happy right now, in this experience, he didn't know either. However, if Donghyuck wanted to know if he was happy because he was seeing him, the answer was absolutely yes. He decided to go with the last interpretation.

"Of course I am, Hyucky, I'm here with you..."

He ruffled his brother's hair with a smile. They were both outside, sitting on the old couch on the porch, all the cameras inside filming Yuta's conversation with his family, and they used that time to talk a bit.

"I meant, with Yuta."

Taeyong sighed and looked his brother in the eyes, almost frustrated the he had already known his answer wouldn't save him from the question.

Most of the time he forgot that his brother wasn't as little as he used to be, and he understood the implications of a relationship as well as Taeyong himself.

"It's too early to know."

Hyuck snorted at that, and the older hated that he already knew whatever his brother was about to say would shut him up.

"It's never too early to know if you're happy or not. If you say you don't know it's because you don't want to tell me you're not."

Taeyong was almost ashamed that he was being so obvious. Although, Donghyuck had always been able to read him well. Still, he didn't think he was unhappy. He just couldn't understand his own feelings, that was his problem.

"What about you and Yukhei?"

His brother gave him a look that pretty much told him his change of subject hadn't been smooth at all, but answered nonetheless.

"We're doing good..."

A shiver went through Hyuck's body, so Taeyong put his arm around him, noticing the sky getting cloudy. He regretted not having brought a blanket with him, but it had been so hot in the kitchen he couldn't even think about getting even warmer.

They stayed in silence for a moment, and he was about to suggest to get back inside were it wasn't cold, when Yukhei magically showed up with a blanket slung over his shoulder, a tray with hot chocolate on his hands, and a smile on his lips.

"Your mother is stuck with your boyfriend, husband actually, sorry, so she sent me out here to ensure you two don't die."

He looked at both of them until they moved slightly away from each other, and proceeded to leave the tray between them, stopping to steal a bit of chocolate from Donghyuck's cup.

"Xuxi, go get your own, you chocolate thief." Yukhei rolled his eyes, mouth dark with the beverage, but still covered his boyfriend with the blanket. "Thank you, for not letting me freeze to death."

The blonde boy bowed, before opening the front door. He was actually perfect for Donghyuck, and Taeyong was thankful for him. He had never broken his heart, always stood by his side when Taeyong couldn't. He wished he would find his own Yukhei.

"It snow problem!" He winked as Haechan broke into a fit of giggles, as if that had been funny at all. As if anything that he had said would have led to that same reaction. Taeyong wondered if he and Yuta would ever get to that stage.

 

 

\----

 

 

"No, no no! It's great! I mean, it's not _Japan_ but, you know, it's- ahh Taeyongie!" Yuta was in his bedroom, sitting on Taeyong's bed crosslegged, a smile on his face as he said goodbye to someone on his phone and turned it off hurriedly. "Sorry! You ready to go?"

He was a bit surprised at the scene, but still managed a probably awkward smile as he closed the door behind him.

"Yes... I... sorry, actually, for taking so long, I just hadn't seen my brother in a long time." He was about to sit on his secretary, but the countless memories of his mother reprimanding him for doing just that made him sit on the chair in front of it instead, all the while Yuta assured him he hadn't minded the wait. "Who were you talking to? You seemed... amused."

"Oh." He was smiling again, almost as if he was glad Taeyong had asked. "Sicheng, actually! I got his number last dinner, and turns out he's still learning korean, so I'm helping him with that!"

He smiled a bit, spinning his chair around maybe to pretend he was completely okay with Yuta talking to other guys. Young, handsome guys.

"Oh... that's really sweet of you! Why isn't Taeil doing that?"

Maybe that had been a bit too straightforward, but anyone would have asked, _he_ was Sicheng's husband after all. He was glad once he realized Yuta didn't seem bothered at all by the question either.

"No idea... " he shrugged and suddenly got up, and Taeyong was a bit disappointed once he saw him gathering his stuff in his small bag, because he wasn't ready to drop the subject yet. "Maybe he doesn't want to take away the magic. Or because I had to learn it too, he feels more comfortable... Can we go now? I'm absolutely knackered!"

Taeyong nodded as he got up, but he felt something inside his stomach, and it was enough to bring his mood down. He didn't know why, but the idea of Yuta being more interested in someone else gave him a strange feeling. And as much as he knew that he was being completely paranoid, he also believed that he had the right to.

But in the end, he was tired too, so he completely ignored that, and grabbed his bag, ready to go to the hotel.

 

 

\----

 

 

"Are you sure you're happy?"

Taeyong rolled his eyes at his mother. He was sitting at the small table on their kitchen, they had yet again managed to stay in so late that all the cameras had already left.

"Yes mom..." He played with his mug distractedly, wishing everybody would stop asking him that. "Hyuck already asked me about that, I expected him to tell you."

She didn't turn around to look at him, kept washing the dishes as she spoke.

"And I expected you to not lie twice."

His heartbeat fastened a bit at that, and he started to drink the hot chocolate again. He was already insecure about almost everything, he didn't need his mother to make him worry even more.

"I'm not lying. I think that... I think he's an exceptional human being."

He could hear her sigh over the noise of the running water, and he almost sighed himself, because by now he should be able to say something better than that.

"I'm sorry baby, but that's what you say about Justin Timberlake."

He finished his cup and got up, putting it in the dishwasher a bit too forcefully just to show her how done he was with that conversation.

"I don't know him mom, of course I'm not going to be able to describe him like I'm able to describe Hyuck. I'm still figuring everything out... You can't expect me to... to..." He sighed for real this time once their eyes locked, and he ran his hands through his hair. It was harder to be mean to her when she could see right through him. "You know that if I didn't like him I'd back out."

He stood next to his mom, leaning on the counter, waiting for her to finally look him in the eyes.

"I'm not saying you don't _like_ him." She finally turned off the water and dried her hands, and just then he saw how worried she actually was. "Sweetheart, I just don't want you to settle for something that's _okay_. I want you happy, really happy. If that means you're alone than be it."

She waited for him to answer, but he didn't say anything, didn't know what to, so she squeezed his hand and got back to her chores. They both knew he had listened and would take her words in count, he always did.

She seemed so open to any problem he had, that hadn't he been so ashamed of how that stupid phone call between Yuta and Sicheng had made him feel, he would have told her everything about it.

But he was. He was so deeply embarrassed and confused about it, that he ended up saying he had to go back to the hotel, and went to say goodbye to Donghyuck.

 

 

\----

 

 

"I'm having a lot of fun." Yuta was sprawled out in their bed, still fully clothed, with a small smile on his lips and his eyes closed. "Are you?"

Taeyong was in the bathroom, shaving, tired enough to take twice as long to move, so his husband had to wait for his answer until he had finished washing his face.

"Yeah." He dried his face on the towel, more awake now, but still not expecting the snort Yuta made. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing." Yuta sat up on the bed to look at Taeyong, and he finally left the bathroom to join him on the bed. "You just sounded so excited. Like, calm down a little bit."

He started to laugh again, and Taeyong playfully shoved him, but still fell on the bed beside him.

"I'm just tired, Yuta." He was about to throw his arms around his husband, but the other rolled away from him and got up to change clothes. "I swear I'm happy that you're enjoying the time with my family. They like you too."

Yuta rolled his eyes with a smile as he removed his shirt and threw it at the chair. Sometimes Taeyong forgot how messy the other was.

"Yeah your brother sort of threatened me when you weren't around."

He was about to leave the room to go brush his teeth, but Taeyong sort of abruptly sat up and grabbed his arm.

"Please fold your shirt." Yuta rolled his eyes but complied, probably because they both knew that if he didn't do it Taeyong would. "And I'm not surprised he did, Hyuck likes to scare off my boyfriends. He's an angel though, there's nothing for you to worry about."

Yuta made sure to exaggerate the way he folded the shirt and placed it on the armchair in front of their bed, but Taeyong was secretly relieved he did so. He did appreciate the neatness.

"I wasn't worried. And I'm not your _boyfriend_." He turned his back to Taeyong and walked to the bathroom, and he was about to answer, but Yuta came back two seconds later talking. "But actually, it was really funny, because I told Sicheng about it and he said the exact same thing had happened to Taeil! His brother, Chenle I think, gave him the cold shoulder for a day! How funny is that?"

He was already back in, turning on the water on the sink, and Taeyong thanked god for that because he didn't want to have to fake a facial expression. Just when he had convinced himself there was nothing to worry about, Yuta had to go and show him how much fun he was having being Sicheng's friend.

"Funny I guess... poor Taeil though! Must have felt bad."

As awkward and shy as the black haired man was proving to be, Taeyong could only imagine how uncomfortable that had made him. It was almost endearing to imagine though, because he probably had gotten all blushed and worried. If he thought about it, he really liked that about Taeil. How clear it was what he was feeling at every moment, how pure all his reactions seemed to be. Taeyong really did like that.

"Nah, his charm won the kid over, the next day the two of them had talked more than Taeil and Sicheng had the whole experience."

He laughed again, and Taeyong joined in, but he truly felt bad. Because even if he didn't know Taeil that well, he had this empathy for him. An empathy Yuta sometimes seemed to lack. Not that he was mean, he was sweet and cuddly, and Taeyong definitely needed someone who was as affectionate as he was. However, he didn't seem to have that touch of kindness and sensibility that he sort of craved. The feeling that made him wish that Taeil was loved like he deserved to. Like Sicheng apparently couldn't.

"More than you and Sicheng talk?"

Yuta came back already brushing his teeth, and he laughed a little, accidentally spitting toothpaste at the ground.

"Oops." He took the toothbrush out of his mouth to talk. "Nah, we only talked once, like, three days ago... it was just easy to talk to him, so we said a lot, you know?"

He nodded, and made a show of yawning to pretend he was too tired to keep having a conversation. He was, but he also needed to sleep so that tomorrow we would try and understand his own feelings about this.

"Well, goodnight then."

He knew he wouldn't sleep that well. He would try and not think about this, but he would end up doing exactly that. He just didn't get why, because he knew in his heart that at that moment, he wasn't in love with Yuta. He had grown used to his presence, and he already cared a lot about him, but he still didn't love him like that. Like he probably should. So he didn't get to feel jealous of Yuta talking to someone else. Even if he was his husband.

He closed his eyes, focused on how clean the sheets were and how soft the pillow was. He still had 5 weeks ahead of him. It was too early to think about anything else.

"Good night Taeyongie."

 

  
\----

 

  
"And how did that make you feel?"

Taeyong looked at the man in front of him, his hands sweating a bit too much for him to seem relaxed. He crossed eyes with Yuta, but the latter was completely calm and collected, only smiling a little.

The psychologist, Jin was his name, seemed slightly uninterested, as if he had asked that question to a million different couples (which he probably did), but at the same time attentive at what he was going to say.

He didn't know wether that made him less or more worried.

"Nervous... Scared that my family wouldn't like him."

He gave a dry chuckled, indicating that it wasn't really serious, just so that Yuta wouldn't get worried. To be honest with himself though, his biggest fear had been that they'd see right through his doubts.

"Why wouldn't they?"

Jin kept that same calm posture from the start, not even supporting an accusatory tone, but Taeyong immediately felt trapped.

"No reason..." He looked down at his lap, playing with his rings. He answered too fast, but he knew he had to say something. Everytime he and Yuta sat on that couch he pretended everything was perfect, that even if it wasn't it was okay, because it was normal in a situation like this. However, he couldn't do that anymore, not with the pressure of his mother, wanting him to be honest with Yuta and with himself. Maybe opening up a little, letting the specialists do their jobs, would help in the end. "Because he's not like anyone else I've ever dated."

The psychologist nodded his head, probably surprised Taeyong had been straightforward for once in his life. He looked at the specialists beside him, as if giving them the space to ask questions too. The presenter ended up being the one to take her chance.

"Is that a bad thing?"

He couldn't decide wether the woman had been genuinely curious or just trying to stir some drama, but seeing as she was the presenter, the probabilities pointed at the latter. He decided to not give her what she wanted either way.

"I don't know yet." He gave a short laugh, both because he wanted to somehow reassure Yuta, and to pretend that the fact that he actually _didn't_ know yet wasn't killing him.

"Well, hopefully you'll be here long enough to find out." He didn't know if the curly haired woman had meant it to be a joke, but Daisy still laughed out loud from her seat on the other side of the room, only sobering up after a glare from Sicheng and a scared look from Shinwon, Hongseok hiding his face in his hands. He smiled a bit shyly, trying to ignore how much he wanted to get home, and figure out his feelings without professionals, and other people's attentive gaze. "Yuta, what's your decision?"

He bit his lip, as if he didn't know they'd both end up staying.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There!!! Hope you guys liked it! I obviously put some taechan in because I seriously think their relationship is underrated (just because Haechan's been focusing all his attention on Taeil lately)(not that I'm complaining) and also hyuckhei had been solely for my soulmate because she loves them, but I ended up also shipping them so yeah I'm really soft reading their parts... anyway that's all!! Feel free to leave kudos and comments, and have a nice week <3


	5. Week 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s another one! A bit longer than the others I think!! And I don’t know what else to say sooo... enjoy <3

 

"So, they come here? Or we go there?" Taeyong sighed as his husband closed the envelope, _again_ , just to ask that question.

 

"Here."

 

"Why?"

 

He tapped his fingers on the kitchen table, not knowing if Yuta was genuinely confused or just trying to piss him off, but betting on the second.

 

"Because they said so, open the damn paper."

 

Yuta made a show of putting his hand on his chest, obviously to annoy him, and the older did move to grab the envelope off his hands, but the dark haired boy was quicker to get up and spin around, finally opening the letter.

 

"And our guests are..." He furrowed his brows and brought the piece of paper closer to his eyes, and Taeyong moved a bit closer to look, but Yuta was quick to move away again, his eyebrows suddenly going up and a smile forming on his face. "Taeil and Sicheng! How lucky are we?!"

 

Taeyong smiled a bit awkwardly, going to sit back on the chair.

 

He really didn't know. He was happy that Taeil was coming because he had kind of an interest on getting to know him since the start, but he always got a sinking feeling on his stomach whenever he saw Yuta and Sicheng talking. 

 

He also doubted it had been "luck", as Yuta so carelessly put it, the presenters did it either to cause drama, or because the four of them had already hit it off pretty well. Or Yuta payed them too.

 

"Really lucky... we could have gotten Daisy."

 

He opted for the joke to clear the air and just maybe to hide his doubts. Yuta snorted at that, placing the envelope on the counter.

 

"Yeah, she'd probably leave in the middle of the meal to get it on with Hongseok."

 

They both laughed, and instead of trying to understand his feelings towards all of this, he thought about which meal he'd cook for their guests.

 

 

\----

 

 

"...and I was trying to get the korean word, but ended up speaking in english, and no one understood! The old lady actually got offended thinking I was making fun of her..."

 

Sicheng laughed for the tenth time since he had came in, as if Yuta had been that funny. It all started with the dark haired saluting them in chinese as soon as they arrived, and the blonde had found it hilarious to the level he hadn't really stopped smiling ever since.

 

He definitely seemed in a good mood, had already complimented the food twice, and even gave Taeil one or two gentle touches, although to Taeyong it seemed like him and Hyuck interacting: love purely platonic. He could be wrong though, or influenced by what his husband had said back in japan those couple of weeks before. The only undeniable thing there though, was Yuta's and the blonde's chemistry, and that one he hadn't been able to identify the nature yet.

 

"Yeah, I guess me and Taeil are always in the position of the old lady."

 

A loud laugh erupted from the shy black haired boy, who quickly covered his mouth in shame. Yuta had been smiling but choked on his fish once he heard it, at the same time as Sicheng's eyes widened, both surprised at the noise.

 

Taeyong started to laugh then, convincing himself he was sparing Taeil the embarrassment, but deep down knowing he had found that moment both the funniest and cutest thing he had witnessed so far in that competition, bonus points for causing it. And he had seen Jaehyun's video of Doyoung eating like a rabbit.

 

Soon enough all four of them were laughing, Taeil this time very quietly, a creeping blush on his cheek and ears. 

 

"Is that an EXO album?" 

Sicheng words stopped the chuckles around the room, as the chinese man looked in awe at Yuta's vinyl collection that was on display in their living room, and contained indeed an album from said band.

 

"You listen to them?"

 

He saw Yuta's eyes light up, and he knew, as quickly as Sicheng's shining eyes joined his, that he would lose his husband for the rest of the afternoon. He didn't know when he had become such a jealous partner, but he looked at Taeil from the side of his eyes, catching the same resigned look he was probably wearing, and thought that maybe this was the first time he had a reason to.

 

He never considered himself to be dramatic either, but truth be told, he had always had doubts about this marriage, and seeing Yuta behaving with another man the way he seemingly never did with him, was looking like a warning from fate - either he made a move to make sure they stayed together, or he might as well go home, and watch, from the comfort of his couch, another man slowly stealing his husband away.

 

He ate the rest of his fish silently, looking at Yuta's and Sicheng's not yet empty dishes already getting cold, as the both of them talked by his husband's collection.

 

 

\----

 

 

"Who would've thought they'd have so much in common?"

 

Taeyong was surprised when Taeil was, for once, the one to start the conversation, but, truth be told, he was too busy sulking to start one himself. He still smiled warmly at the man in front of him. He had always felt the need to show him love, didn't know the reason to, and truly couldn't understand why Sicheng and him weren't working. 

 

The man in front of him was, besides one of the prettiest man he had ever seen, the peak of delicacy and grace. Always quiet, but never impolite, a soft smile on his lips most of the minutes they spent together.

 

He smiled a bit wider then, at a loss of words, a few moments later regretting not answering right away.

 

"I wouldn't..." The cameras around them were suddenly more prominent, and he felt highly uncomfortable saying anything at all. He looked at the black haired man sitting in front of him, his smile threatening to turn into a laugh, and that caused him to forget everything else. "Have you ever triedmodeling or something?"

 

Taeil choked on his food, and he started to laugh too, instantly turning his head to check on his husband to see if they were being too loud, only to notice they had already left the room, probably going to his room to see the rest of the collection. He tried not to let it bother him.

 

"No! God... why?"

 

He shrugged, regretting saying that now that he remembered this would be on tv and he would possibly be immediately branded as the player, or cheater. 

 

"No reason... you just have the face for it..." Taeil blushed and started to eat again, and Taeyong was quick to speak again before anything became awkward. "So are you related to royalty then?"

 

Taeil started to laugh, a good thing because even though he seriously thought the older man was gorgeous he had meant it as a joke. 

 

He finished his cup, and for some reason he felt himself hot so he got up, surprised when Taeil spoke again.

 

"We should probably clean this up... assuming the two of them won't help."

 

He knew comparing Yuta to Taeil was completely wrong, because they had different personalities, he didn't even know the latter that well, and sometimes opposites got along better, but he was still doing just that. He honestly couldn't help but appreciate Taeil's genuine sweetness and willingness to help. It's like he was the meant to create harmony and peace. He was almost bitter that such a beautiful creature wasn't getting the love it deserved.

He smacked himself in his head. Yuta gave more attention to another man, and suddenly he was ready to point out all the things he didn’t appreciate in him. That was definitely not someone his mother would be proud of.

"Don't worry, I got it. I take a long time doing it anyway..." He started to pick his plate and Taeil's, deciding to leave the other's in case they got hungry, and continued to talk after a curious glance from the other. "I like everything really clean... spotless, really."

 

He went to put the dishes on the sink, thinking about how many times Yuta (and everyone that ever had the pleasure of living with him) had called him a clean freak before, and slightly relieved once he saw Taeil following him, also with cups on his hands.

 

"I think that's lovely..." he smiled warmly at the man behind him, the water hitting his hands instead of the plates but he really didn't care. There was something so fresh about Taeil, that made Taeyong feel so at ease... the fact that he never got hurt by anyone calling him obsessive, laughed most times in good humour, but never knew how _good_ it was for that specific feature to be seen as positive, lovely even. It was confusing him to no end. "You're a great housewife, Lee Taeyong."

 

The joke caught him off guard, and he laughed, warmed, finally turning off the water, wondering what would have been like had he been set up with Taeil instead.

 

 

\----

 

 

There were a lot of questions about Sicheng after that. The interviewers made sure to ask him what he thought of the newly found friendship between the two participants, probably already smelling all the headlines. His friends, Jaehyun actually, whom he had sympathized with during the last dinners, also had immediately asked how everything had went, and later on mentioned Sicheng's bright smiles when he was around them. Them being the unspoken "Yuta" that he probably knew would hurt Taeyong. And he was absolutely sure the specialists would ask him about that too when the time came. The only good thing was that the answer would always be the same: He was perfectly okay with that.

 

The bad thing was, he was lying.

 

He had talked to Taeil while their husbands weren't around, and he had honestly had a great time, but at the same time, he felt slightly betrayed by whatever kind of relationship Sicheng and Yuta were developing. And it wasn't the fact that the younger had immediately moved to talk to the other once they had arrived at the dinner today, nor the fact that Yuta hadn't talked much to him during that stupid lunch, it really was that he was beginning the comparisons. 

 

How Yuta seemed more energetic around the blonde. More caring, more possessive, in a way he never seemed with him. And Taeyong didn't know him well enough to know what either of that meant.

 

"How did your lunch go?"

 

He had noticed Doyoung slightly stranded, and decided to go over. 

 

"Daisy was the guest." They both laughed, knowing that was answer enough, and he looked at the other side of the room, where she was talking excitedly to poor Taeil, while holding her husband's arm to prevent him from leaving. "They went to my bathroom and did it there, I'm not even joking. It was as terrible as that shirt you’re wearing."

 

He playfully elbowed Doyoung, but, to be honest, hadn't Taeil been there, he would have certainly preferred Daisy's wildness to Yuta and Sicheng's overwhelming, newly found, friendship.

 

Jaehyun suddenly seemed to notice them from where he was standing with Yanan and smiled warmly at his partner. It almost hurted how all of a sudden every single couple had more chemistry than him and Yuta.

 

"Sicheng came over right?" He contained the snort that threatened to leave him, and simply nodded, resisting the urge to run and go talk to Taeil instead. Save him from Daisy and get his eternal gratefulness. "And now he's best friends with Yuta. How long was your lunch, exactly?" 

 

He knew by now that Doyoung mostly had fun by teasing literally anyone, and that he didn't mean any harm, but he still got a bit pissed at the question. Probably because they were good observations.

 

"I don’t even know..."

 

Too long.

 

He must have been obvious about his emotions, because he saw the younger's smile slip, and a frown take his place. They both opened their mouths then, him to say something to distract Doyoung from that subject, and the other probably to ask something about that subject, but neither had the time, because a waiter arrived, telling them the dinner would be served.

 

And with one last knowing look from Doyoung, they both went to their seats.

 

 

\----

 

 

He got sat next to Taeil, and at this point, he was beggining to think the producers were making fun of him. Either that, or feeding on the drama people would make out of this.

 

He obviously smiled at the other once they sat down, but he actually felt awkward for the first time in a while, like everyone was watching the four of them, except Hongseok who was looking at Daisy with both love and desire.

 

"So, seeing as Yuta and Sashimi won't stop talking about their lunch, it's only fair the rest of us talk about ours." Hongseok put his head on his hands, and it took Daisy a few seconds and a couple of "what's" to get him to tell her it was Sicheng. He genuinely couldn't get wether she did it on purpose or not."Oh. Right, Sicheng. Anyway, Jimin, want to tell us about your lunch?"

 

He got a bit relieved then, the banter going on keeping him distracted, and letting him eat as peacefully as possible with eleven people around him.

 

"You okay? You seem a bit distracted?" Yuta's hand on his tight almost caused him to jump, but the other was looking at him with warm eyes, and he quickly smiled.

 

"Yes... I don't feel like hearing Daisy accidentally insult twelve people per sentence."

 

Yuta laughed quietly, and he didn't know why, but he was terribly afraid that Taeil would see the hand on his tight.

 

"Hey, lovebirds. Seeming awfully close during _my_ story." 

 

Daisy turned to him, an offended look on her face, and she seemed like she was about to say more, but her husband's hand on her arm stopped her.

 

"Yeah, that's highly disrespectful of you." He looked at Doyoung with betrayed eyes, although wondering wether he was trying to be funny or helping them the best way he knew. "If we're all forced to listen to Daisy without speaking so should you."

 

Daisy gasps, outraged, and Hongseok tells him to fuck off, but all Taeyong can think of is that he's incredibly grateful. Today he just wasn’t up to socializing.

 

He smiles at Yuta again, and turns to his food, only to notice Taeil had been looking at him too. They exchange glances, and then smile too, a longer smile than the one shared between the husbands, and Taeyong tries to think nothing of it. 

 

He gets back to eating, knowing they'd all stay the following day, and wondering if he was doing it for the right reasons.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I’m not completely happy with this chapter, but I also didn’t know exactly how to change it, so I guess I hope you liked it either way XD feel free to leave kudos and comments <3


	6. Week 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii!! This is a longer chapter!!! I kinda liked how this one turned out i think, which made me happy cause usually when I review the chapters i lose all the motivation to post XD anyway, i think there’s a little angst in the next few chapters, buuuut i promise it’ll have a happy ending for everyone!!!

Week 5

 

He was wrong. Jimin and Hoseok had left, with a tearful yet lovely goodbye. Finally deciding that their friendship would always remain just that, they swapped numbers, returning to their lives with promises of staying in contact.

 

They all had a sort of group hug then, that funnily enough him and Taeil were the only ones that didn't take part in, smiling once their eyes met outside of the huddle going on. Another funny thing was seeing Daisy showing an emotion for something that didn't involve sex, as she hugged Jimin and he promised to call her, seemingly sad too to say goodbye. The presenter also seemed disappointed to see Hoseok leave, but that could have been his mind.

 

All in all, it had been an evening full of surprises. Like the fact that Doyoung had openly flirted with one of the specialists, even though he and Jaehyun had been one of the role model couples for everyone. And even more unlikely was that all three men involved didn't seem to mind.

 

He thought they'd all give great stories one day.

 

"So you're getting closer?"

 

He was sitting on the couch of their living room, wrapped up in a blanket, on the phone with Donghyuck. Any gadgets that they owned weren't allowed in the house, but once a week they were given a phone to call their families, so he of course used it to talk to his brother.

 

"Yes, I guess you could say that..."

 

His brother sighed on the other end, probably done with him already and Taeyong pulled the blanket that was covering him a bit higher. He always felt bad for not being able to give a clear answer, but if he ever was to talk about this, then it would be somewhere else, with just the two of them.

 

" _Yes, I guess you could say that... Yes, but it's still too soon... No, it was just sex_ -"

 

"Donghyuck!" His brother giggled, and he thanked god no one else had heard that impression of him, because it did sound slightly like Taeyong. "I never said the last one."

 

"Yeah, but you're damn close to... Yongie, you always say the same three sentences, it's not even worth asking anymore!"

 

He knew Donghyuck so well he was sure he was pouting by now, and he felt a pang of sadness realizing he wouldn't even be able to pepper him with small kisses at the distance they were. 

 

He hated how his brother was right about this, and how in spite of that he still couldn't make up his mind, figure out wether he was jealous of Sicheng because he had Yuta's affection, or just because he had affection at all.

 

To be honest with himself, he _would_  have told his brother exactly what was going on in his head, hadn't he heard Yuta walking around their apartment at least three times now.

 

"Once I find a new answer I'll say it instead."

 

The other sighed, again, but Taeyong knew he had gotten the hint to drop the subject. He probably was aware of all the cameras around his brother anyway, Donghyuck had always been smarter than most.

 

"I really miss you..."

 

He smiled warmly. At times like these he realized just how used he was to spending all his time with his little brother.

 

"I miss you too, Cucu..." He curlend into himself a bit more. "I bet your room's a disaster..."

 

Donghyuck started to laugh then, telling him how his mother was going nuts without Taeyong's help in everything, and he let out a few chuckles too.

 

He was still smiling, Hyuck telling him about the movie he had seen with his friend Renjun, when Yuta came in. He immediately sat a bit straighter, not uncomfortable or anything, but guessing he'd have to turn off the call now. 

 

However, once the younger noticed he was on the phone, instead of making him a sign to turn it off, he made move to leave, staying only after Taeyong motioned him to. He'd have to end the call at some point anyway.

 

"Yeah, my husband's here..." 

 

Donghyuck stopped talking abruptly, and Taeyong wondered if it would be against the rules to invite him over. Probably.

 

"So you're about to hang up, right?" He heard the sound of shuffling, probably his brother getting out of whichever comfortable position he was in. "Well, you tell that brother stealing dufus that-"

 

"Hyuck says hi." He decided the lie was worth it to see Yuta's bright smile forming, telling him to say hi back. A bitter voice in his head reminded him that one of the reasons Taeyong had stayed for so long was that smile.

 

They said their goodbyes then. He was a bit more sober as to not make Yuta uncomfortable, and he knew Donghyuck understood, because he always did.

 

"Sorry..." He finally ended the call, placing his phone on the small coffee table in front of the couch, and laying in a comfortable position again. "It's actually weird spending so much time away from my family..."

 

Yuta nodded, and it took Taeyong one look at him to realize how insensitive that had been.

 

"I'm an idiot... sorry, I've got nothing to complain about."

 

Yuta laughed, and he decided to consider that it meant Taeyong was off the hook. 

 

He had always liked how his partner was so carefree, as if he was able to only give relevance to the things he chose. The older had never been like that, so at the start of the show it had seemed like a mistake. Now it felt like it was what he needed. 

 

It was with disappointment in himself that Taeyong realized the past few days had somehow made him forget every single quality that his husband had.

 

"It's okay, Taeyongie... I just... I actually just wanted to ask you something..." Yuta got up from the armchair he was sitting in, coming to sit on the couch instead, right in front of him. He seemed nervous, and Taeyong couldn't stop his heart from beating faster. "You know what? I'm just going to say it, because it's probably not even that big of a deal. You know this whole... drama they're creating around me and Sicheng? You're not, like... buying into it, are you?"

 

Taeyong actually let his mouth hang open for a while. He wanted to say yes, so bad, but that would be hard to come back from. Then again, he couldn't pretend he was completely unfazed by this, no one would have been, right?

 

He then noticed Yuta's face, his eyebrows furrowed in a worried expression, his eyes almost begging him to say no, and he suddenly wasn't sure enough of anything to start a conversation about feelings.

 

"No!" That hadn't sounded natural at all, seeing as Yuta didn't even change the expression, so he was quick to explain. "That's just... how this all works, right? Tipical reality show drama... To grab the audiences and all, right?"

 

It took him a minute, but suddenly Yuta laughed, clearly relieved now as he patted him on the back. 

 

"You have no idea how good it is to hear that!" He seemed back to himself now, smiling widely and getting more comfortable in the couch. "No one gets it, everyone is telling me to come clean about my feelings, or to stop playing with Sicheng, as if I'd ever do that! And even Taeil said-"

 

"Taeil said something?"

 

His heart immediately sped up at the mention of Taeil, and it was so normal by now that he didn't even notice it until later. Yuta just looked at him, nodding slowly as if afraid he had said the wrong thing.

 

"Yeah..."

 

The silence almost killed him. Taeyong wanted to ask what his exact words had been. What Yuta had answered. If Yuta knew what the older’s intention had been. 

 

But he couldn't show _that_ much interest, or else he wouldn't be any better than the other two, so he just leaned back, trying his best to smile as he spoke.

 

"Well, I guess we fooled them all."

 

Yuta laughed and layed back with him, seemingly relaxed again as they kept talking, like they hadn't in a long time. 

 

They both had fun that night. He truly felt a connection there, the kind of thing you inevitably form when you're experiencing the same thing for the first time with another person. They already had something special that would last probably forever.

 

However, he couldn't help but notice they didn't kiss once.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"So, what's with this party they're having tomorrow?"

 

Taeyong entered their room, still dripping from the shower he just had, but he had left the bathroom once he saw Yuta sitting on their bed, reading a book.

 

The latter looked up upon his presence, a smirk on his face as he gave him a once over.

 

"It's just a night out, grandpa." Taeyong rolled his eyes, now wearing underwear and using the previous towel to dry his hair. The younger boy turned his attention back to the book, but still managed to speak. "Are you that sad you're not in my group?"

 

The older snorted, going back to the bathroom, thinking about how he was more sad about the fact that he wasn't in Taeil's group.

 

"Are you kidding me? You got Daisy, and I got Hongseok. Luck is clearly on my side."

 

Yuta finally closed his book, loud enough that Taeyong heard him from where he was fixing his hair in front of the mirror.

 

"Well, I got Jenny."

 

"Jaehyun."

 

Yuta huffed, rolling his eyes at Taeyong's smug smile from the doorway.

 

"He likes it when I call him Jenny." 

 

He did let out a loud laugh at that, and maybe it was worth it because even Yuta couldn't keep a smile from appearing on his lips.

 

Taeyong shook his head a bit fondly, going to fix the mess of clothes his husband had left in the small chair on the corner of the room.

 

"You know what, that's not why I started this conversation." He noticed the other's mouth closing once he spoke, as if he was about to say something too, but he wanted to finish this particular topic. He finally sat on the bed, not surprised at his husband's raised eyebrow. "You'll leave just before dinner, right?"

 

He felt a bit nervous after Yuta'ssuspicious gaze stared him down.

 

"Right."

 

He looked down at his hands, not really knowing how to speak without sounding like he had gone behind his partner's back.

 

"I invited Hyuck to have lunch with us tomorrow." He didn't give himself time to understand what Yuta's facial expression meant, going straight to the explanation. "I know, I should have asked you first, but I actually thought it'd be good to... you know... bond?"

 

Yuta nodded quickly, which was good to assure him, but he was still confused at the other's lack of words. 

 

"Yeah, I... You see, I was about to tell you, I invited Sicheng over too." Taeyong opened his mouth, not knowing if he had the right to be offended because he had invited someone else first. "With Taeil! Obviously... I just... We had so much fun last time! And then they'd stay until me and Taeil went out with the others!"

 

And of course that was perfect for Yuta, because he'd spend time with his beloved Sicheng until he had to leave Taeyong behind. 

 

He didn't know how to react, it probably wasn't fair for him to be pissed off, but he didn't get why Yuta would once again do something that could just convince everyone even more that he had a crush on that blonde boy.

 

The younger boy must have realized Taeyong wasn't really keen on the idea, a frown forming on his face.

 

"I could cancel... I _can_ cancel, I'll-"

 

"No, no..." He sighed, knowing there'd be no way he'd not allow that lunch and not look like an absolute idiot while doing so. "I mean, Hyuck always likes meeting new people anyway..."

 

Yuta smiled really big at that, and Taeyong would have mirrored the expression hadn't he remembered the other was just happy because he was seeing Sicheng.

 

Even after that short conversation a few days prior, Taeyong couldn't help but still feel like he was very quick and not so subtly being replaced by the chinese man. And the worst part was he couldn't say anything, because there were cameras everywhere, all the time. And when they weren't around he had no one to talk to, except for the one person he didn't want to. 

 

So he'd just have to swallow it. To pretend the fact he didn't even have the time to figure out half his feelings for Yuta before he was replaced by someone else didn't crush him.

 

Maybe they were never meant for each other from the start.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

Donghyuck won them all after 5 minutes. Yuta already liked him, Sicheng was surprisingly receptive to all and every single one of the younger boy's jokes, and Taeil once again didn't speak much, but always smiled sweetly at whichever brother looked his way. 

 

"So, I want to know." The small brunette turned to Yuta, and Taeyong simply knew by his devilish smile that nothing good was coming. "How many times has Yongie made you get up from bed and straighten out a shirt you left hanging?"

 

Yuta choked on his food, laughing, Sicheng joining in, and he playfully shoved his very content brother. Of course everyone was having the time of their lives, Donghyuck didn't have any dirt on them yet.

 

He was rolling his eyes when he noticed Taeil looking at him, a smile on his lips as he too laughed softly. It didn't seem like a simple smile though. He couldn't understand what that expression meant, but it felt light, and warm.

 

He mentally cursed once their eyes met, because Taeil sobered up and looked away, understandably so. And he cursed again once he saw Hyuck also looking at him, a confused glance turning into a smirk.

 

He was quick to speak before the other had the time to say anything.

 

"Acting all tough for someone who can't sleep without a goodnight kiss."

 

Donghyuck blushed furiously, the expressions around them varying from amused to adoring. Taeyong prayed his brother had gotten the message and wouldn't try and get revenge.

 

"I can, I just don't want to." Taeyong laughed and threw an arm around his brother, squishing his cheek. Donghyuck was probably elated he was being the center of attention. They had always both liked that a little bit though, if he was being honest. "Yuta, is that a vinyl player?"

 

His brother's eyes lit up, and Taeyong wasn't surprised because he had always liked that sort of vintage stuff. He also wasn't surprised when Yuta used that excuse to show him his whole collection, nor when Sicheng followed him, as if he hadn't seen it exactly a week before.

 

He looked at Taeil, both of them in a resigned smile that said exactly what they were thinking.

 

"I'm throwing that damn vinyl player out."

 

He felt like the whole ordeal was worth the other's angelic laugh.

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"Four's?" He shook his head, and Taeil went to take a card out of the pile on the table. "How many vinyls does Yuta have?"

 

Taeyong laughed, always pleased whenever Taeil showed just a little bit of interest in having a conversation with him.

 

They were sitting on the corner of the now empty dining table, so close Taeyong could almost see the other's game.

 

"Two's."

 

"It's not that many then..."

 

He had a moment of confusion before breaking into a laughing fit, one that only intensified at the older's lost expression.

 

"I was asking for cards, Taeil." The other's mouth formed an O, before he too started to smile, and then chuckle. "He has much more than that."

 

They didn't say much for the next few minutes, but that was because both of them kept laughing silently, and whenever one stopped, the other would start again and infect the quiet one once again.

 

He couldn't remember when he had last felt this comfortable around someone, where words weren't even needed.

 

He was happily reuniting four queens when he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind.

 

"Yongie, they're completely ignoring me."

 

Donghyuck rested his head on top of his, still hugging him, and Taeyong tickled him on the sides, biting back the "welcome to the club" comment that had been about to leave his mouth.

 

"Must be because you're too young to participate on their conversations."

 

Donghyuck gasped, pretended to be offended as he pushed the table slightly away from Taeyong to sit on his lap.

 

"Are you playing cards? Yuta's right you're both grandpas." Taeil smiled widely at that, almost as if the insult flew right past him, and Taeyong just _knew_ Donghyuck loved it. "Can I play with you?"

 

He looked at Taeyong with hopeful eyes, and they both knew the answer was yes, but he always liked to tease his brother a little bit.

 

"I don't know Hyuck, you might have to ask Taeil that."

 

The younger boy turned to Taeil, his best pouty face on, resting his head on his hands.

 

"Taeilie, can I play too?"

 

Taeil smiled, and with all the softness and kindness that can somehow fit in two words he replied "Of course". Taeyong looked at the ground then, not being able to keep a smile off his face, because he had never seen someone so naturally lovely as the man in front of him. Someone that exuded so much love without even trying.

 

Hyuck didn't notice, because he was too busy shuffling the cards and singing a tune Taeyong was pretty sure was from Yuta's collection, but when he once again looked up, he had a pair of dark eyes staring back at his, and they both smiled in a way that lately seemed reserved for each other.

 

For the first time, he imagined what would be like to kiss Taeil. Not to marry him, or to be set up with him. That was too simple, too unnatural. But to actually kiss, hold, and cherish the man in front of him. Without the cameras, or the specialists, without anyone at all. 

 

That sounded absolutely perfect.

 

 

 

\---- 

 

 

 

"I don't want all black though... Geez Taeyong, this looks like a punk’s closet." Doyoung went through the other's clothes, looking for something to wear, clearly a bit drunker than he thought, and the only reason why Taeyong let him touch his stuff was because he was being surprisingly careful and neat while doing so. "Which is a problem, because I look pretty good on white, you know?"

 

Taeyong nodded, smiling at how serious the other was taking this, choosing to ignore the insults thrown his way every five seconds.

 

Their half of the group had stayed in his apartment, just drinking a few beers and doing some karaoke, nothing actually fun for Taeyong because he had a very low alcohol tolerance so he kept his drinking at a low. Yuta had also called him a few minutes before, completely wasted, only to ask him to hand the phone to Sicheng, so that also had brought his mood down.

 

"Do you think he's going to like it?"

 

Doyoun took off his shirt to try on the white one he had found, and he once again found himself trying not to laugh.

 

This was much more fun than being in the living room, actually. Doyoung could be pretty cute too, and he was making him forget the fact his husband had called for another man while in his most honest state.

 

"Yes, you look really hot. My clothes are _that_ powerful." Doyoung threw him his previous shirt, then laughed, then started to sing a happy song while staring at himself in the mirror that was on the closet's door. "You'd look even better with the buttons on the right holes."

 

He got up to help him with a sigh, after Doyoung's confused look at his shirt, as if he didn't get what was wrong with it.

 

"Taeyong?" He looked up, a bit suspicious at what was coming, but nodded his head to prompt the younger to continue. "Do you think the... um... specialists, like... watch the whole show?"

 

He raised an eyebrow and looked at the man in front of him. He seemed nervous, and Taeyong hoped this conversation was simply due to the other man's drunk curiosity.

 

"I don't know if it's airing yet..."

 

"No, that's not what I meant..." He sighed, just as Taeyong finished adjusting his shirt. "Do you think they see... what the cameras see?"

 

He was about to say there weren't cameras in there, but then he understood what the other had meant. He shook his head in disbelief. Maybe he wasn't dressing up _just_ for Jaehyun after all.

 

"Probably... how else would they know everything that's going on?" Doyoung shrugged, but he saw him smile a bit, seemingly content. "Doyoung. Why are you making me borrow you clothes?"

 

The black haired boy sighed, suddenly stepping away from Taeyong and looking for shoes. He opened his mouth to ask again, but the younger finally had started to speak.

 

"Don't look at me with that... judgement. It's just a funny thing between the three of us... It's-"

 

"Three..."

 

"-no big deal..." He ignored Taeyong's shocked look as he passed him by, in order to once again go look at himself in the mirror, seemingly satisfied with the final result. "I'm definitely getting it tonight."

 

Taeyong would've laughed, hadn't he been stuck on the previous subject. He sat on the bed then, trying to forget what had just been discussed when the other turned around with a frown on his lips.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even ask! Do you want me to dress you up too? You could use a makeover, the whole preteen visual isn’t working for me. Anyway, want to make Yuta regret that phonecall?" Taeyong didn't answer, looked down at his hands instead. He didn't want to think about how that had been such a bummer. especially after such a good afternoon with Taeil and Donghyuck. "Well, shit, I shouldn't have mentioned that. It’s the alcohol, I swear."

 

Doyoung scrunched up his face, mad at himself as it seemed, and walked around to sit on the bed by Taeyong's side.

 

He didn't even know why this was bothering him this much to be honest, it just was. Maybe he had thought that after their talk Yuta would at least _try_ to hide his feelings a bit more.

 

"It's just..." Taeyong closed his mouth again. He didn't know why he had opened it in the first place. "Nevermind."

 

He put his head on his hands. He felt like right now would be the perfect moment to open up,the cameras were all on the living room, probably waiting for Doyoung's dramatic entrance, and the other seemed interested enough in hearing him. He just didn't know if he was ready to share with someone all the doubts and question that had been going through his head lately.

 

"Taeyong... I'll probably remember zero of this tomorrow, just spit it out."

 

He laughed softly at Doyoung, not saying anything and instead grabbing the beer bottle that had been left on their bedside table.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

They were now laying back on the bed, Taeyong thanking god the other had remembered to take a pack of beers into the room with them.

 

He obviously wasn't completely drunk, but already felt that light dizziness and spark of bravery that comes with the alcohol. Which meant he had practically told his life story to Doyoung. However, the other had seemed pretty attentive, even if it maybe was just to throw some jokes here and there. 

 

"If it makes you feel better, I think your husband's being a dick." Taeyong laughed, his head falling to the side. That did make him feel better. "Cause like, if you were interested in Sicheng, it was okay, but you're not, so..."

 

He laughed loudly at that, and soon enough the other joined him. He still hadn't started crying, so it meant he was safe for now, but the fact that he had a permanent smile on was probably a warning that he should stop drinking.

 

"Seriously though, I'd totally marry you."

 

He laughed again, and the other did too, but they were both more quiet this time. Probably because they were reflecting on it. 

 

He placed his empty beer bottle on the ground.

 

"I wouldn't marry you."

 

More laughs, and a fake cry from Doyoung. He prayed no one heard them from the outside.

 

"Why?"

 

The black haired looked at Taeyong with puppy eyes, that shone with a glint of curiosity, and thankfully did not seem hurt.

 

"Because you're into some weird threeway thingy with your partner."

 

Doyoung protested and turned around so abruptly the mattressmoved and caused Taeyong to fall off the bed, both laughing harder than ever afterwards.

 

And for a small moment, as he layed on the ground and saw Doyoung having trouble breathing because of how much he was laughing, he felt little less lonely on this show. Like it wasn't just him and Taeil against their so called husbands, but a friend he could count on.

 

They were still laughing loudly when their door was opened by an even drunker Shinwon.

 

"Heyyy, dudes, the others arrived."

 

As soon as he came, he left, not commenting at all as to why one of them was lying on the ground, and they both looked at each other before starting to laugh again.

 

To his credit, Doyoung got up way faster than what it looked like he could, but when he extended his hand to help Taeyong he ended up falling on top of him too, giggling like crazy.

 

They only managed to get up at the sound of Jaehyun's voice though, because Doyoung got suddenly scared he would think something of it. Taeyong couldn't ever understand what went on inside the other's brain.

 

So he left the room, telling him not to do it on his side of the bed, and going to find Yuta, smiling at Jaehyung as he passed him on the hallway. He almost turned around to walk back then, just to see his reaction to Doyoung.

 

He got to the living room, but without a sign of his partner. What he found though, was Taeil, standing a bit lost by the counter, eyes wide as he observed everyone in the room. And then that was all he could see. Taeil, not with the neat brown hair he usually had, but with an undercut and red, fiery hair that made him look like the most beautiful piece of art ever created.

 

"Taeil..." The redhead turned to look at him, and probably it was Taeyong's slightly drunken state that made him immediately reach out to touch the hair. "You look like... art."

 

Taeil blushed, as if he had forgotten he even had a new haircut, and Taeyong smiled at that. His hand slowly moved away from the head, just to see if there was somewhere else in need of his attention.

 

"I think it doesn't match my personality very much."

 

Taeyong shook his head, fixing a fallen strand of hair, before his rational part finally reminded him there were cameras and he used all his inner strength to stop touching.

 

"It matches your face though..."

 

Taeil laughed, and he didn't seem really drunk, or not as much as Taeyong, but he had a new, more intense aura around him, that made him want to kiss him now more than ever. 

 

He grabbed a cup nearby, just to do something with his hand.

 

"Are you drunk?"

 

Taeil smiled, with a raised eyebrow, and Taeyong balanced a bit forward, his nose almost touching the other's. He giggled, looking for the older's ear, so he could whisper.

 

"A little bit."

 

They both laughed, Taeil with his white teeth showing, and his skin seemingly glowing more in contrast with his hair, and he suddenly understood the look in Taeil's eyes hours before. He felt that warm feeling again, and now he knew what and why.

 

It was the feeling of pure amazement at the beauty of someone else.

 

He let his eyes trail down to Taeil's lips. He was so lost in thoughts, of what would they feel like, that he only noticed someone was calling him after the now redhead looked away from him.

 

"Yuta!"

 

His husband was suddenly in front of him, completely drunk, half leaning on Sicheng, also with a different feature.

 

He looked around and realized all of them were with new haircuts. Daisy had cut it shorter, and Hongseok was clearly loving it by the way he kept kissing her, and now that he thought about it, he did notice something different in Jaehyun. Yuta had now a very soft pink, mixed with light red, hair color, that perfectly matched his charisma. 

 

He was smiling, completely happy with his look, and Taeyong actually managed to return the gesture, although he was still upset. 

 

"What do you think? Do I look good or do I look great?"

 

He chuckled, but Yuta was clearly more interested in Sicheng's reaction, so he simply looked at Taeil instead.

 

"All of you look great."

 

Taeil blushed and turned his head, a smile on his lips. He remembered Hyuck telling him before he left that he had loved Taeil, winking as he added that he had a beautiful smile. He always hated how his brother saw through him everytime.

 

Yuta smiled, a bit lost actually, but he had turned to Sicheng again, the blonde also smiling at him. 

 

"I'll take you home." Taeyong turned his head o Taeil on instinct, as he did whenever those two were obnoxious, watching his reaction at Sicheng's laugh. He saw Jaehyun and Doyoung on the background, holding hands as they walked to the door, nodding their heads in farewell, and he nodded back. "Fine, I'll take you to _the door_ of your apartment."

 

He saw Yuta's smile, his bright, drunk smile, as he fixed Sicheng's shirt, as if that wasn't the flirtiest action to do. 

 

He suddenly couldn't bear the feelings that overcame him, and like he usually did on instinct, he searched for the closest source of positivity. Most of the times it was Donghyuck the only one who could turn his mood completely around, but without his baby brother for Taeyong to rely on emotionally, he had to recur to the person that had lately been the reason he hadn't left this show yet.

 

Taeil was already looking at him though. As if in that moment they had both decided they'd be each other's way of not crumbling down. 

 

And he suddenly couldn't stand the messiness of the situation, the wrongness of what was happening with the four of them. Suddenly, nothing made sense but Taeil, and he was something he couldn't have. 

 

So he put his arm on the redhead's lower back, still looking at him, muttered a "goodnight" that he hoped had dripped the sweetness he wanted to, and without another word directed at anyone in that division, he went to his room.

 

He didn't think Yuta even noticed.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"So, there's some obvious tension between you too." Jin put on his glasses, pen in hand ready to write whatever he did when the participants were talking. He seemed a bit more excited today though, as if all the drama in the house was making him happy. Considering Taeyong's performance up until now, he was probably convinced something would happen today. "Taeyong, want to start?"

 

He felt his hearbeat accelerate, as Yuta's guilt filled eyes met his, and then looked away at something behind him, most definitely aimed at Sicheng's.

 

"I... Yes, this was a confusing week."

 

Jin looked at the man standing on his right, whose name he was pretty sure was Johnny, and Taeyong noticed he seemed frustrated with him, they all did. 

 

Yuta came to save him then.

 

"I got drunk at the party... and I did some things against my better judgement."

 

Yuta was looking down, clearly ashamed of talking about it, but Jin only nodded, not bating an eyelash as he waited on them to start a conversation by themselves. 

 

"It's fine though." Jin sighed, and he could swear he saw him writing a curse word on his notebook after this sentence, so he tried to explain himself. "I meant... what's done it's done."

 

The presenter intervened then, after sharing a look with the other specialists present.

 

"Yuta, what's your choice?"

 

He was startled by the question, even if it wasn't directed at him, and for the first time, afraid of the answer. 

 

He had spent the day before thinking about this. His husband was completely hungover, so they didn't talk much, and although it was also hard for him to grasp a clear thought, he managed to. 

 

It had somehow opened his eyes. Yuta being _that_ uninterested in him was proof that he had to do something. That he couldn't let things keep going the way they were. 

 

But it was hard to know what to do exactly. How to change the situation without him seeming a coward, or desperate. Or both. Without hurting anyone in the process. 

 

Still, he had finally came to a conclusion. And one that he had been pretty confident about at the time. Right now though, as the unfairness of Yuta's behavior hit him once again, he wondered if he knew what he was doing.

 

"I want to stay." He turned to Taeyong, and looked him in the eyes. "... and I'll make it up to you." 

 

He showed him the paper, that had a "stay" and a small smile on the corner, one that didn't warm Taeyong in the slightest, as he simply took his own paper and unfolded it.

 

He didn't have the strenght to say something, simply letting everyone read the small, unsure "leave" that was on the page, sitting below a few strokes that clearly hid another word that had been written first.

 

The room was quiet for a moment, the longest one in that competition. The presenter had a glint in her eyes that told him she had asked that question knowing the answer. The other specialists didn't seem surprised either.

 

Yuta was a different case though. He saw the betrayal in his eyes, and he felt like couldn't even blame him. Taeyong had the right to be mad, he had been there doing nothing for the past two weeks, being only a "buddie" to Yuta. He had been almost ashamed of showing up to the dinners because everytime, everyone commented on his husband's and Sicheng's incredibly "suggestive" relationship. 

 

But he didn't have the right to decide this after not having complained, not once. After having simply smiled and taken it for so long. So he knew he wasn't being fair either. He just couldn't do it anymore, not even for Taeil's soft smiles.

 

"Why?"

 

Johnny asked what was going through everyone's heads, and because he owed him that, he turned to Yuta to answer the question.

 

"It's just not working and we both know it." He couldn't figure out the other's feelings at the moment. If he was angry or just shocked. But he definitely saw pain in his eyes. He never thought he'd feel this bad for that. "I just... I don't really see a point on staying."

 

Jin took off his glasses, scratching his eyes as if he was completely done with this couple.

 

"Do you know, Taeyong, why this isn't working?"

 

He looked surprised at the other man, praying his voice wouldn't shake as he answered.

 

"Because we're not meant for each other?"

 

"Maybe." He sighed and uncrossed his legs, leaning a bit in his direction. "But you can't know that, because you haven't tried at all." 

 

He was about to protest, but the other lifted his hand to stop him. His heart was beating so fast he was afraid he'd pass out.

 

"Week after week you've sat there, and not once complained about something wrong in your relationship, even when everyone knew there was. And the first time you speak, is to say you're leaving, with no room for debate."

 

He was at a loss of words, mouth dry. A feeling he hadn't gotten since high school, whenever he was lectured by a teacher.

 

The other specialist sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair before also starting to talk.

 

"Quitting isn't the answer here, Taeyong."

 

This one used a gentler tone, and he was relieved, until Jin snorted and Taeyong became scared.

 

"He's not quitting, John, because he wasn't even commited in the first place."

 

He looked at the ground after seeing the presenter send a warning glance Jin's way. He wanted so bad to look at Taeil right now. Just a simple glance, just to see his soft smile and attentive eyes, because that would be enough for him to not feel so helpless and alone right now.

 

"I didn't know you felt that way... like we wouldn't work."Yuta spoke, so sudden and quietly that he almost couldn't believe it. He was looking in Taeyong's eyes, the only pair of eyes that wasn't there looking frustrated or angry, but just as sad as his. "I can... we can try to fix this."

 

He didn't elaborate on that, and they just looked at each other for a moment, as if trying to figure out the other. For the first time in a while, Yuta seemed to want _him_. To want him to stay just for a little while longer. 

 

He looked down at his hands, wondering why he had ever decided that coming to this show was a good idea. Even Taeil was now a blurry thought, a plus side on staying, but something that was too impossible to reach for him to even think about it.

 

Now it was only him and Yuta, and wether he wanted them to have something or not. 

 

He swallowed, finally looking up as he answered.

 

"Ok."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thats it!! Hope you liked it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated!! <3


	7. Week 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anddd here’s another one! Wow omg we’re getting close to the end! Also i feel like theres angst in the next few chapters... like either a little or a lot, deppends on the reader XD BUT I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING FOR EVERYONE!!! So yeah, bear with me for the next chapter or so, it’ll be worth it (I hope) <3

 

Week 6

 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

Yuta didn't look at him as he hung his jacket on the cabinet.

 

They were finally home, after the most awkward hour ever, where they had to sit on that couch, side by side, not talking to each other at all. He noticed Yuta sitting further from Sicheng than usual, and he'd be lying if he said that that didn't make him feel like a monster. 

 

However, now that they didn't have the cameras, nor the prying eyes of every other contestant, he had finally started the conversation they needed to have.

 

He leaned back against the counter, waiting for Yuta to answer him.

 

"I am too." The younger walked over to the window, and Taeyong didn't know what to say, if he even was supposed to say something, so he simply waited. "This past week... Did I make you as sad as you made me today?"

 

That was a stab to his heart. He didn’t know what hurt more, Yuta’s tearful eyes, or his own throat that seemed to be choked up. He bit his lip, wondering how was it possible that this had became so painful for both of them.

 

They looked at each other, and he decided to be truthful, for once.

 

"Yes. But I didn't do it for revenge, Yuta, I-"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." Yuta looked at the ground before running his hands through his face. Unlike usual, the other’s motions were stressed, frantic almost, all traces of his frequent smile completely gone. It seemed like the memories of them a few weeks ago were from a distant dimension. "It's just... You could've told me."

 

Taeyong looked away, feeling the burn behind his eyes, the shame swallowing him whole.

 

"I didn't want you to convince me to stay..."

 

Yuta snorted, and they didn't say anything for a while.

 

He never meant to hurt anyone. He just didn't see himself getting anything from this, and therefore, not a reason to stay. Was that rational, or simply selfish?

 

"I was hurt, you know? That hurt me."

 

Maybe it was also selfish to feel offended by the younger’s comment, but if anyone on this whole show had the right to be anguished it would be him, and, to be completely fair, Taeil.

 

"Because I'm leaving or because that means you won't be one floor away from Sicheng anymore?"

 

He still regretted saying it the minute his eyes crossed Yuta's shiny ones.

 

However, his lack of answer, disappointing but not surprising, made Taeyong move away from the counter, and turn around to go to his room.

 

He wasn't mad that Yuta had sort of confirmed he had interest in Sicheng only. That had been one of the few things he was sure of. He was mad at himself. He was mad that he hadn't even figured out his feelings for the other, and was already being rejected. Especially this way, that made him feel like nothing.

 

He sat on their bed with his head on his hands, tears threatening to fall. Was it supposed to be easier if he was really in love with his partner? If he couldn’t think about anyone other than his husband? Was that supposed to erase the feeling of longing for the security of his own house, with his family? 

Maybe every relationship required this amount of work, and Taeyong’s inability to get through it was the reason of all his break ups.

He ignored the sound of steps entering the room, almost jumping once he felt a hand on his back.

 

"Taeyong..."

 

He didn't answer, didn't move at all, even though he craved some form of comfort.

He hated feeling vulnerable. The feeling of depending on someone else to be happy or not. That was why he only got close with people he knew wouldn't ever cause him pain. That was why he was single.

 

But without even noticing, he had let Yuta in, romantically or not, and now he was hurting because of that. 

 

Because they both knew they weren't in it for each other anymore, and none wanted to admit it out loud. He didn't want to admit he'd end this alone.

 

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around him, and theyounger boy rested his forehead on Taeyong's shoulder.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

He stayed silent for a while. He usually wasn't this weak. He wouldn't feel this bad after a fight. And this wasn't even a fight. Wasn't even aggressive. Maybe it was worse because he was just slowly becoming less and less important, visible. Maybe there was something about the loneliness of this show that got him to feel like this.

 

"So am I."

 

No one said anything after that, and the following moments he considered talking, but never knew what to say. So he simply held onto Yuta's arms instead, and pretended for a moment that they were still in this together, and that he hadn't messed up the fake bubble they were living in when he said he wanted to leave.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

He didn't remember falling asleep the following day. Didn't remember much apart from waking up alone to find out yuta was making breakfast, as if nothing had happened. 

 

His sleepy self realized, a bit slowly, that they had cameras around them now, cameras that hadn't recorded anything from the night before.m 

 

So they had a quiet morning, maybe peaceful, but mostly uncomfortable for Taeyong because he had no idea where they stood.

 

Yuta was being really sweet though, and he almost felt as if he didn't deserve it. Because he didn't know if the younger was pitying him or just genuinely feeling bad for not being in love with him.

 

They were on the couch watching tv when the doorbell rang, and they both got up abruptly, as if they had both been dying for something to push them out of the awkward silence.

 

It was just an envelope though, Yuta realized once he opened the door to no one. He almost suspiciously opened it, while using his foot to close the door behind him.

 

"Oh, there's a lunch tomorrow!" His husband's eyes were attentively reading the note, showing it to Taeyong once he got up from the couch again.  "For everyone."

 

He felt himself getting nervous at the thought of facing everyone. Of everyone watching his interactions with Yuta. 

 

He just hoped Taeil would go, everything was easier with him around. 

 

He scrunched his nose then, because he felt like he was cheating by thinking that. But he had been wanting to see him ever since the last ceremony.

 

"Does it say where?"

 

Yuta nodded before showing him the paper again, pointing at the name, and he didn't know which restaurant was that but he was positive a cab would come to take them anyway.

 

"It's probably fancy, look at that calligraphy."

 

Taeyong smiled a bit, agreeing with him. 

 

He didn't know if Yuta was trying to move on from the day before and pretend it never happened, keep living in the Sicheng-centric fairytale he created, or to genuinely make it up to him, like he had said at the ceremony. 

 

He had no idea what would happen from now on, but they somehow managed to talk for about five more minutes without being awkward at all, and for him that was a victory.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"So, who goes first?"

 

He immediately shook his head, glad when Doyoung didn't push it and instead looked around the table.

 

They had arrived late, when everyone was already there, and although Yuta apologized profusely for mixing up the hours, Taeyong had a feeling it had been his way of avoiding being alone with another couple.

 

He still had been surprised when they left the car though, and the other's hand immediately found his. It wasn't even the teasing the pink haired used to do at the start of the show, it was much more personal, and not romantic at all. As if he was just as scared as Taeyong.

 

It had been okay though, because as soon as they arrived they were greeted by everyone, and then Doyoung was quick to begin the story of where the name of the restaurant came from, just before it could get awkward.

 

The both of them ate in silence in the beggining, Yuta only slowly getting comfortable to start talking as much as usual. Taeyong had been quiet though, and Jaehyun had been sweet enough to maintain an interesting conversation with him throughout the lunch.

 

The younger had been telling him about the high school he went to, when the waiter brought a white circular box, and placed it on the middle of the table.

 

Soon enough it was confirmed by the accompanying note that they were supposed to answer a couple of the questions in the box, and now the hardest task would be to find the first volunteer.

 

"Is no one going to offer himself?" Doyoung looked annoyed, as if he wasn't trying to dodge it either. "How about we start by the heads? Daisy?"

 

Daisy clapped her hands, nodding a bit enthusiastically considering she hadn't suggested answering them sooner. She was at the head of the table, Hongseok on her right, by Doyoung's side, and Taeil on her left (considerably far from Taeyong, as he sadly noted.)

 

Yuta sat at the other head of the table, and Taeyong was between him and Jaehyun, and in front of Shinwon. The pink haired didn't volunteer himself, but it was okay because Doyoung was already smiling at Daisy.

 

"We have a brave woman among us." 

 

He lifted the box and handed it to Daisy, who took it gracefully, and cleared her throat after choosing a paper.

 

"Alright..." She looked at Hongseok briefly before reading it aloud. "Tell the group something you like about someone on this table."

 

Doyoung started to laugh, and Shinwon clapped his hands, all excited for the juicy questions.

 

"Easy, Hongie's lips." She smiled and kissed him, throwinga piece of bread at Doyoung after he said they were disgusting.

 

"Babe, I think they meant someone other than your partner."

 

Daisy sighed and rolled her eyes, before looking around the table as if trying to remember something she liked about them.

 

"So it can't be me?" Hongseok shook his head, smiling, and she sighed again. "Fine, I think... Hmm... I really like Doyoung's sense of humor, he's the coolest here by far. After my husband of course."

 

Doyoung clapped his hands in enjoyment before high fiving Daisy, telling her she was his favourite too. 

 

There was a very positive vibe around the table then, and he felt himself smiling.

 

"Oh wait, I've got to pass this question?" She showed the paper to Hongseok, and then confirmed that the question was to be passed around the table. "Okay, I'll just hand it to Taeil cause he's right here."

 

She handed it to him, and the older was apparently so nervous he didn't react at first, only after she waved it in front of him once again did he take it with a blush.

 

"Hmm..." Taeil chewed a bit on his lip before looking his way, and he felt his heart beating his way out of his chest. "I think... Taeyong's really good at cooking, and cleaning... like... he's domestic. I like that."

 

The older blushed again and looked down at his plate, quickly passing the paper to Sicheng, but Taeyong couldn't take his eyes off of that human. He couldn't and he didn't, until he felt Jaehyun's elbow on his ribs, and a smirk from the younger told him he was pushing his luck. 

 

He drifted his eyes to Yuta then, who was already staring at him, and before even trying to make out his expression he turned to Sicheng, almost in panic but still feeling a rush of adrenaline.

 

No matter what, the one thing on his head was Taeil's soft, insecure voice, telling him he liked how domestic he was.

 

He drank some water that was still on his cup.

 

"I think Taeyong's really polite, and welcoming."

 

He almost spat everything, and looked at Sicheng, mouth opened in shock, but the other simply gave him a very small, almost invisible smile, and he was so confused he completely forgot to return it. He watched Yuta, who was looking as confused as him, and turned back to the chinese.

 

"Well, and here I was thinking Daisy was the most popular around here."

 

Shinwon's joke broke the ice and they all laughed, him a bit forcefully, Yuta not at all, as Yanan took the paper.

 

He didn't understand what had just happened. He would've thought it was a joke, but Sicheng seemed too sincere. Maybe he was trying to make peace with him. 

 

"Hmm... I think Jaehyun's very charming."

 

Shinwon raised an eyebrow at Yanan, and Doyoung threw a possessive arm around his husband. 

 

"I think so too."

 

Daisy started to laugh, finding it completely hilarious, and Taeil smiled too. Taeyong cursed at himself for getting stuck in his eyes again. 

 

"Ok, my turn." Shinwon took the paper in his hand. He tried really hard to push aside all the thoughts running through his head and focus on the game. "I like how chill Yuta usually is."

 

Yuta gave a small smile, seemingly sad, and Taeyong wondered wether it was because of Sicheng. Just how close were they exactly, that just a compliment directed at someone other than Yuta would make him pout?

 

"How unoriginal, Shirley. I'm chill too."

 

Shinwon rolled his eyes, but closed his mouth instead of answering Daisy, probably out of loyalty to Hongseok.

 

He saw Doyoung winking at Daisy, completely elated, and he would have found that funny in any other day.

 

The atmosphere was heavy again as Yuta took the paper from him, and practically glared at Sicheng as he answered, the blonde avoiding eye contact.

 

"I think Taeil is really handsome."

 

As soon as he said it, he shoved the paper in Taeyong's chest, and the tension was so palpable not even Doyoung managed to say something.

 

He looked around then, decided to say something about someone other than Taeil, because he didn't want to piss anyone else off, nor seem like he was being vindictive.

 

He was about to say something about Jaehyun, when a pair of brown, warm, inviting eyes met his, and he didn't even feel the words leaving his mouth.

 

"Taeil... Taeil is really considerate and... gentle. He hasn't directed a bad word towards any of us for the whole show..." He turned his eyes away from the sweet and pure smile he had received, and cleared his throat instead. "I'll drink to that."

 

" _Now_  we're talking!" 

 

Everyone laughed, probably using Daisy's sentence to clear the heavy air around them, and he smiled too, avoiding eye contact with just about everyone on the table.

 

He shyly passed the paper to Jaehyun, stealing a very quick glance at Taeil, and noticing he was looking his way too. He wondered why did he have this pull towards the older, always making him look his way. Always urging him to get closer, to touch. 

 

A wave of guilt swallowed him, and he looked down at his hands, just as he noticed from the corner of his eyes Yuta getting up from the table, saying he had to go to the bathroom.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"C'mon, let's just finish this..."

 

Doyoung fiddled with the last paper in his hands, pouting because there were only three of them on the table. Him, Taeil, and Taeyong. 

 

After two questions Yuta went downstairs to the bar to get a coffee because the restaurant was already closed, and Sicheng went with him. He tried not to think too much of that, secretly thankful though when a few moments later Daisy decided to go get some alcohol too on the bottom floor, Hongseok joining her because he was positive she'd drink the whole bottle in one go otherwise. 

 

It also took five minutes for Shinwon to get up and see what was going on for everyone to take so long, and Yanan to quietly follow him.

 

Jaehyun was the last one to give in, stating that if he stayed under for more than three minutes they should go get him, smiling at Doyoung's happy laugh.

 

And less than a minute passed before Doyoung started to whine again.

 

"They're probably drinking."

 

As if on cue, Yuta showed up at the other side of the room, without looking at anyone, followed by a seemingly drunk Daisy, who was leaning on Hongseok for support.

 

The other three were talking, Sicheng at the end of the row, only watching everyone without saying anything. 

 

"They were busy this whole time emptying bottles."

 

Jaehyun sighed as he sat next to Doyoung, who immediately hugged his middle.

 

"You could've taken one more minute so that I'd have to go and rescue you."

 

They started to kiss, and Taeyong looked away, noticing Yuta already on his side.

 

"Hey... Everything okay?" He had felt confident enough to ask, but he was probably way over his head, because the pink haired all but flinched when Taeyong nudged him with his elbow, and only nodded quickly as an answer.

 

"I will not wait another minute, so answer the freaking question."

 

Doyoung's exasperated voice brought him back, and he tried not to think about how weird Yuta was being. He'd have to wait until he got home to analyze the list of things that had surprised him at this lunch.

 

"I'll start if you want me to."

 

Doyoung gave him the happiest smile ever, and handed him the question, and he regretted volunteering himself as soon as he read it out loud. 

 

"What's the one thing you'd change in your partner if you could?" He looked at Yuta a bit nervously, wondered why would someone ever ask something that could touch in someone else's insecurities if not for higher audience ratings. He wouldn't give them that pleasure. "I'm quite happy with my partner's personality."

 

A lot of "pff"'s, mostly playful, were heard around the table, but Yuta was the one who suprised him. 

 

"Bullshit. There's gotta be something about me you don't like."

 

He had a few things. Minor things, obviously. The fact he hadn't that touch of sensitivity he always appreciated. That he was so easily blinded by affection, that he forgot someone else. But those were competing with bright smiles and the positivity of a sunny day, so the winner was obvious. To be honest with himself, his biggest problem with Yuta right now was that he wasn't Taeil.

 

Either way, he would never say that in a table full of people.

 

"You're always late."

 

He handed the paper to Jaehyun, and looked at Yuta, who almost seemed mad at his answer. 

 

He was completely confused by now, but no matter how much anger he was met with, nor how much sadness his husband had caused him, he wouldn't expose him like that. 

 

So he kept quiet for the rest of the conversation, considering to check on Yuta every five minutes, then not doing so.

 

He wasn't even looking at anyone really, as they kept passing the paper, until it was Taeil's turn. 

 

"I don't like this game." His ears were red, and he was definitely uncomfortable as he moved around in his chair, but Taeyong found it endearing. Taeil seemed pretty sure that he wouldn't answer that, but after a lot of convincing he managed to get something out. "Well... hmm... I guess I... it's not something bad, but I'm, personally, kind of touchy? I guess, and you're not... so, yeah, I'd like someone who's a bit more comfortable with that. Maybe."

 

Sicheng smiled a little. Almost sad, and Taeyong felt himself wondering if Taeil would like him. And then if he even deserve an angel like Taeil at all.

 

Sicheng gently took the paper from Taeil, and he noted he seemed to be a bit more down all of a sudden.

 

"I wish you'd open up to me more. So that I'd really get to know you."

 

That was actually really minimal, but still surprising. Taeyong had known Taeil was shy and very kept to himself, but he figured he'd talk a lot more when he was alone with Sicheng. 

 

The older smiled but he also seemed sad, and Taeyong didn't think of anything besides the red haired for the rest of the game. 

 

How was someone as beautiful and graceful as Taeil having problems getting a man? How was Sicheng _not_ head over heels for that... magnificent creature? 

 

His eyes widened, and he couldn't believe how his own thoughts were running wild. How they always did when it came to Taeil. They wouldn't, had he just been a pretty face. Hadn't he been made out of cotton candy and angel wings. Hadn't he been a small, hopeful light for Taeyong during this hell of a show.

 

This time, he waited for the older to catch him looking. Just so he could smile with all the words he couldn’t say.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"

 

Yuta stopped on his tracks, between the couch and the hallway, a confused look on his face.

 

He had been very quiet, too quiet actually, around Taeyong for the last few days, and he usually would let the younger simply come to himself again, but they'd have the dinner and ceremony the following day, and this time he didn't want either of them to be surprised by the other on the spot.

 

"Me?" Taeyong kept looking at him, and Yuta started to get a bit fidgety. "I... I just miss home... A little bit."

 

Taeyong turned his eyes back to the bowl, suddenly not feeling hungry at all. Baking usually was great for when he was feeling stressed, but it wasn't really helping him right now.

 

He didn't think Yuta was being truthful, but that would've been a valid reason to feel sad, so he couldn't be that sure.

 

"Yuta..." He sighed, trying to be careful with his words, feeling as if the wrong ones would send the pink haired boy flying off the room. "Is this because of Sicheng?"

 

Yuta was sighing after the first word, and Taeyong bit his lip.

 

"Is Sicheng going to be in all our conversations from now on?" He closed is eyes then, at the same time as Taeyong's widened, and walked a bit closer. "Sorry."

 

Taeyong shook his head, dismissing the apology, taking the chance to explain himself.

 

"I meant that..." He grabbed the towel nearby to dry his hands, anything to keep himself from standing still and facing Yuta. "You don't have to drag yourself away from him, if it's that difficult for you..."

 

"Stop." Yuta sat on one of the chairs by the counter, and used his hands to rub his eyes. He seemed as tired as Taeyong felt. "Seriously, just... stop making me feel like... a villain. With your sad eyes, and... and the sympathy from everyone, god, Taeyong, you're no saint either!" 

 

He stared at the other, mouth opening. He didn't get what was going on with him, where that frustration was coming from, because none of that seemed to make sense. Because he had genuinely thought after their talk they were on the same page.

 

"Ok, now you're scaring me." He went around the counter to stand by Yuta's side, his hands shaking for some reason. "If you could just tell me what was wrong, maybe we could talk about that instead of throwing insults at each other."

 

Yuta got up and away from Taeyong instead, as if he was impossible to just be next to, and he almost wished he hadn't started that conversation at all.

 

"See? That! That... goodness! Why do you have to do everything right? You look at Taeil too, you look at each other all the time and it's not a headline to every other contestant!"

 

He took a step closer from instinct, at the same time as Yuta took one back. 

 

"I'm sorry, are you really comparing these two situations?" He had never seen his husband so altered. Most of the times everything just rolled off his back, with the exception of that one day almost a week ago. This new version of him was scarier, remembered Taeyong that they were still complete strangers. "Yuta... what's going on?"

 

Yuta took a deep breath and went to sit on the couch, and because he didn't move after that, Taeyong assumed he was supposed to join him.

 

There was a long pause, where the younger opened and closed his mouth a few times, before finally locking his shiny eyes with Taeyong's. 

 

"Are you attracted to me?"

 

Taeyong looked at the boy, the lively, bright boy, in front of him, and wished he had been asked that question weeks ago. Because weeks ago the answer would have been yes. Without a doubt, because who could resist the charm and joy Yuta brought with him wherever he went? 

 

Weeks ago he hadn't felt the disappointment with both himself and the show whenever he thought of him and Yuta. Weeks ago he wouldn't even think of Sicheng when something like that was asked.

 

But the question was being asked _now_ , and he needed to answer now too, because being quiet would give him away. 

 

He still couldn't manage to give a straight answer though, even if he was afraid of causing Yuta's eyes to get even more teary. 

 

"I... I can-"

 

"You shouldn't be..." 

 

Yuta turned his head away, and once again Taeyong didn't know how to answer that. He didn't know if this was a low self-esteemed Yuta who didn't feel deserving of anyone, or just proof that he felt nothing but platonic love for the older, maybe not even that, and didn't want to hurt him. 

 

The following sentence caused him to lean towards the second option a bit more.

 

"I feel like I'm only hurting you..." Another pause, Yuta hiding his face in his hands, running them through his hair as if trying to find something to tell him, and then saying the exact words Taeyong feared. "I'm so done with this show."

 

No one moved, and he was suddenly terrified. Of a decision he himself had made the week before. 

 

He didn't want that to happen anymore. He wasn't exactly sure why, if it was because he didn't want to part ways with both of them so bitter... if it was because he felt like he was ruining a beautiful friendship between Yuta and Sicheng, or just given his newly found, quiet and subtle affection for a certain redhead. 

 

Maybe because of a very small flicker of hope for the both of them to work it out and not leave this show lonelier than they arrived.

 

He just didn't want him to go. So much that his throat hurt once he spoke.

 

"So you're leaving?" 

 

Yuta shrugged, without looking at him, and Taeyong felt fear creeping under his skin.

 

He wanted to reach out to the other, to try and say something to make him stay. But he didn't have a reason, any reason for him to voice. At that moment, he only had a few words flying around in his head (Taeil being one of them, as he shamefully noticed), and couldn't manage to say any of them out loud. 

 

So he decided to go to his room, to be alone for a while, to let Yuta be alone for a while. However, it seemed his mouth didn't catch up with his brain, because as he got up from the couch, one quiet word slipped from his lips, before any of them could react.

 

"Don’t."

 

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

 

He woke up alone the next morning, the same way he had fallen asleep. He would have been upset by that, was for a little while, hadn't he found a note in the kitchen, from none other than his husband, saying he was gone for the day to "reflect on the state of things".

 

As if he wasn't ready to leave.

 

He figured he should probably do the same, be alone and think, only to realize five minutes later that the last thing he wanted at the moment was to be by himself.

 

He called Jaehyun then, asked if him and Doyoung wanted to grab something to eat, but apparently they were already having lunch with friends. So, even after the younger's insistence on Taeyong still meeting them, he ended up refusing, too guilty to accept.

 

He was cooking a simple meal now, for two just in case Yuta arrived and was hungry, when he heard the distinct sound of something (or a lot of things, actually) falling, followed by a quiet curse.

 

Curiosity took the best of him, and he was quick to adjust the flame, cover the pan and go to the door, expecting no one but Yuta.

 

So he was surprised once he opened the door to a very blushed Taeil, trying to grab the fruit scattered around the floor, a torn plastic bag by his side, his eyes searching for a place to put the food in again.

 

"Oh." 

 

He took one step closer as the older raised his head to see who had spoken, looked around again before remembering he still had paper bags in the kitchen and turning around to get them, thankful it was so close to where they were.

 

"There, I use these because they never split open."

 

He was panting when he arrived, because he had practically ran inside and out, but still put it on the ground and helped Taeil pick up the last apples laying around them.

 

"Thanks." The older was blushed, but still smiling as they finished filling the new bag, and Taeyong was quick to grab the one Taeil had left on the ground, careful so that this one didn't have the same end. "I should consider buying one of those."

 

Taeyong smiled, looking at Taeil and all of a sudden noticing the baby blue sweater he was wearing, that made him look like a real angel.

 

"You can keep that one." Taeil blushed again, and he smiled again too. If he was ever asked, he wouldn't be able to describe how much kindness even the smallest of the older's smile held. He didn't think it was possible for a human being to irradiate _that_  much pureness. 

 

His face fell as he abruptly remembered he had left food on the stove, and went running back to his apartment with a curse.

 

His sauce was already boiling, so he simply dimmed the flare, added some water and sighed, relieved it hadn't burned. 

 

"Ahh... Taeyong?"

 

He saw Taeil standing by the door, cheeks reddened and shy posture, and it took one look at the bag of food he had placed on his counter for him to realize what the older wanted.

 

"Sorry! God... My sauce..." 

 

He shrugged, couldn't explain it further, but luckily Taeil laughed as he picked up the bag.

 

"It's okay... I should probably cook something too."

 

He looked surprised at the other, still not dropping the bag because Taeil already had one and he didn't want him to have to carry so much weight. 

 

"You haven't had lunch yet?"

 

Taeil scrunched his nose, as if noticing he had said too much. 

 

"No... Without Sicheng complaining about hunger I didn't notice time passing by..."

 

"He's not home?" He said it without thinking, and immediately realized how indiscreet that had been, so he tried to cover it up. "Yuta's out for the day too..."

 

Taeil nodded, adjusting the bag on his hands.

 

"Oh... Sicheng's spending the day with an old friend."

 

Suddenly, everything in Taeyong's head aligned, and he realized just how perfectly all the events had fallen together, to get them to where they both were in that moment.

 

He looked at the food he was making, at Taeil who was standing there a bit awkwardly, and pushed himself to ask.

 

"You want to stay here? Have lunch with me?" Taeil seemed to be about to refuse, ears also red now, and he was quick to assure him even more. "I cooked for two already... Makes sense to eat together if we're both alone anyway... right?"

 

Taeil looked around, as if he wanted to stay but wasn't sure if he could, and only after did he finally place the bag on the ground with a relieved sigh.

 

"Fine... Just because this smell's making hungry."

 

He laughed, looked at Taeil for a few, way too short seconds, and then remembered he was probably freaking him out he went to close the door of the apartment.

 

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

 

"Is it weird to have lunch without being neglected by our husbands first?"

 

Taeil giggled, his fingers tracing the patterns along the table towel, and he was again overwhelmed with the need to take that hand in his.

 

"No, I don't think it is." 

 

He smiled, setting the food on the table before finally sitting down. There was a small pause once they started to eat, and he was actually wondering wether he had been too generous with the salt, when the other started to talk. 

 

"So, Yuta's spending the day with a friend too?"

 

The question took him by surprise, even more than the fact Taeil had been the one to start the conversation, but he was pouring himself some water, so luckily he could pretend he was busy with that.

 

"No..." He remembered this was Taeil, probably the least likely person to ever judge him or anyone, and maybe it was the baby blue sweater that somehow put him in a peaceful state and prompted him to continue. "We sort of had a fight yesterday."

 

Taeil's eyes widened and he looked down, probably regretting the one time he started a conversation with him.

 

"Sorry."

 

"It's okay." He sighed, playing around with the peas on his plate, deciding to just say what he was thinking because without Doyoung drunk to hear his misfortunes he had no one else. "He's just... thinking?"

 

Taeil eyed him attentively, cleaing his mouth with his napkin before replying.

 

"You don't sound so sure..."

 

He shrugged, smiled, wondered what caused him to get in this dazed state around Taeil.

 

"He could be running away for me."

 

Taeil laughed softly against his cup and he started to eat again.

 

"I don't understand why someone would ever do that."

 

Ha almost choked on his food then, couldn't keep a smile off his face at that. Saw the pure sincerity in Taeil's docile eyes and couldn't take it.

 

"Cause I'm domestic?"

 

Taeil blushed, and he did too.

 

"Yes, that's the only reason." He had this way of telling jokes, that was so shy and serious Taeyong took always a while to get them, but once he did it endeared him to no end. "I mean... you're also a good neighbor."

 

He swallowed his food and his nerves, and noticed how every small movement Taeil made was graceful.

 

When they spoke, it was at the same time.

 

"Thanks."

 

"I'd never run away from you."

 

His heart skipped three beats, and the air around them was suddenly heavier. He didn't know what Taeil had intended that to sound like, but it caused both of them to blush, and although he wanted nothing more than to keep replaying that sentence in his head again and again, he spoke up before it got awkward.

 

"I don't know if you're domestic but..." 

 

He shrugged, a soft smile on his lips, and Taeil, luckily, played along.

 

"You wouldn't run away from me either?"

 

He didn't have to know Taeyong was completely serious about this.

 

"Not even if I was payed to."

 

Taeil made that gracious smile, and he melted all over again. The thought that they were behaving like two teenagers on a date was gone as fast as it appeared.

 

"Sure."

 

The older laughed, and the one thing he hated when he was close to Taeil, was not being able to show him how much of a gift he was. Because even though they were close to strangers, and it would be foolish to think differently, he just knew the only imperfection on someone like Taeil was not knowing his perfection.

 

Maybe it was the fact that this time it was just the two of them, with no one possibly coming from another room, that caused him to pour just a drop of the infinity appreciation and amazement he felt for that boy.

 

"Have I haver told you you're one of the most beautiful men I've ever met?"

 

The redhead looked down, even though he was openly smiling, and Taeyong pushed aside the voice in his head calling him a cheater.

 

"Just the other day."

 

They both chuckled, Taeil probably because that slightly drunk Taeyong had been embarrassing for both of them.

 

"Yeah, well I was drunk so I was afraid you wouldn't count it."

 

"I did."

 

Taeil answered so fast both of them were surprised.

 

He looked into the older's brown eyes, so sincere he wondered if every word that had came out of his mouth had been too. Somehow it felt like it wasn't physically possible for him to say something he didn't truly mean. As if he was _that_ pure that he wasn't capable of faking any emotion he didn't feel.

 

He briefly wondered if Taeil really was that perfect, if all this time he had just created a detailed picture of him, an ideal version of a human to recur to once everything went wrong.

 

Taeil smiled again, a bit shy, and Taeyong internally shook his head at how stupid he was. He'd never be able to create a smile like that in his head. 

 

He started to eat again, but only after smiling warmly at the perfect man sitting in front of him. 

 

”Good."

 

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

 

The rest of the afternoon was peaceful. They mostly talked while Taeyong finished cleaning the kitchen, and Taeil ended up standing there keeping him company, after having insisted on being the one cleaning and the younger refused.

 

They ended up getting lost in conversation. First about their families and where they grew up, later on about their jobs. He learned Taeil had studied arts and taken a job as a vocal coach, but started a part time job as a child educator (no wonder Hyuck had loved him) and now couldn't drop either of those. 

 

In return, Taeyong told him he had majored in performing arts but had no idea of where he'd go. The redhead had offered him a comprehensive smile then, saying everyone went through that, and the younger believed him.

 

He also found he absolutely loved hearing Taeil talking about the things he liked, how his eyes turned shiny and a permanent smile stayed on his lips. 

 

The conversation evolved, and they were talking about the hair products Taeil was now using for his hair, when Yuta came in, not that good at hiding his surprise, but still politely saluting them before going to his room.

 

That had prompted the older to leave, after a million thank you's for the lunch and the company, and Taeyong thanked him too, but didn't say it was for giving him one of the only afternoons he had enjoyed on that damned show.

 

This afternoon had made him feel like Taeil wasn't just a god who for some reason was walking around on earth and way to pure for Taeyong to even look his way, but this quiet person who his heart was getting comfortable with. 

 

And so not even when Yuta didn't show up for dinner and stayed in their room did he get sad. He was too focused on Taeil for that.

 

He didn't say anything actually, not until they were both in bed, the younger facing the wall and most probably pretending to be sleeping.

 

"Are you awake?"

 

Yuta didn't answer immediately, and he was debating with himself wether to speak again or just go to sleep and dream of a different world where he had the perfect pair.

 

Yuta's muffled words saved him from having to choose.

 

"I've been thinking a lot about this."

 

He still didn't face him, no matter how hard Taeyong was looking at his head.

 

He swallowed a bit, the thought that wether this was their last night here or not was on Yuta's hands flying over his head.

 

"Yeah?"

 

There was a pause that left Taeyong on the edge, before the pink haired finally turned around and looked at him very closely.

 

"I'll stay for another week..." He let out air he didn't know was holding. "Because I don't want to leave on a sad note. Only after we've somehow... worked through this."

 

He nodded, looking at nothing, feeling so absolutely grateful for staying that he knew it was for the wrong reason. 

 

He nodded again, not uttering a word, not looking at Yuta and regretting it once the other turned around again to sleep.

 

He didn't sleep a lot that night, thoughts of everyone and everything running through his mind until he felt the overwhelming feeling of running home, of calling his brother, of talking to Taeil.

 

It was the fact that Taeil had become such a refuge from his worries, a safe place, that got him scared. Scared that he would do the same thing Yuta did with Sicheng. He quickly crossed that thought, blamed it on tiredness, and fell asleep soon after.

 

The following night, at the same time, they were both still there, with the remarkable difference Yuta hadn't spoke much that day, not even with Sicheng.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it!! Hope you liked it!! And please dont hate on my baby yuta, he’s just confused and in love :’) Feel free to leave kudos and comments!!


	8. Week 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, there's a few parts I like, others not so much, but i hope you enjoy :*

 

  
"I mean, having lunch it's cool, but... going camping? Who even remembers that?"

Taeyong gently took the letter from Yuta's hands, reading it once more, scrunching his nose at the idea of not having perfect hygiene conditions for more than two days.

The younger seemed a bit apprehensive though, ignoring his attempts at beginning a conversation.

"Yeah..."

He furrowed his brows and looked at Yuta, expecting him to say something more.

"Yeah?" The other shrugged, and just because it was the start of a new week, Taeyong let it be, turned back to the letter instead. "It might be cool... I watch a lot of National Geographic, I know my way around a forest."

Yuta formed a small, distracted smile, which usually would be a welcome replacement of a sarcastic comeback, but today was just worrying.

"I'm going to take a shower."

He finally stopped staring at the wall in front of them, looked at Taeyong and back at the hallway as quickly as his eyes allowed, and then moved out of the room, all before the older could even nod in acknowledgment.

He had no idea of what was going on with Yuta this time, but for the sake of their last week here, he'd have to swallow it down with a smile.

Maybe he knew Yuta had meant that they should be genuinely at peace with each other, not just pretending to be, but maybe he didn't care.

He cheered himself up, remembered he'd get to call home today and that was enough to make him forget about his husband.

 

 

 

 

 

  
\----

 

 

 

 

 

  
They were all in the forest.

  
It was cold, and dark, and they were all sitting in a small circle. The only source of heat right now, keeping him from freezing while hugging his knees to his chest, was Yuta. The younger was sitting right by his side, but without making any attempt to warm himself or Taeyong up.

He frowned and looked around, all the couples cuddled together, all of them in love, none of them cold.

He suddenly felt ice around him. The air started to hurt his throat, burning it from the inside each time he inhaled. He hugged himself even closer, moved his head to the side to check on Yuta, only to see him not there.

He snapped his head up looking for his husband.

He saw him a few feet away, but sitting by Sicheng's side. Both cuddled, both smiling, both in love. Yuta embracing the younger, creating a loving, protective nest around them.

He felt rage build inside of him, an unknown jealousy of something, something he didn't really know what, bubbling inside of him.

He couldn't move now, as much as he tried, he was forced to watch the pair in front of him. He opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out, only air, air that seemed to blow away everyone else, because he was suddenly alone.

And then, just as unexpectedly, warm seemed to involve him. And not the type o warm that suffocates him in the summer, but a subtle, safe embrace of the sun.

Everything was bright, and he felt his body slowly gaining freedom, his moves soft as he all but melted from the feeling of complete peace.

He looked to his side, where Yuta had previously been, and was met with also warm, brown eyes, staring at him with the amount of kindness only one person could ever possess.

He locked his eyes with the other's, relished in the security they conveyed.

The other took Taeyong's head in his hands, slowly caressed his cheek, with the most gentle fingers he had ever felt, then smiled very softly.

"Taeyong..."

The sweetest, most melodic voice echoed forever in his ears, and he felt himself leaning his head a little bit to the side, into his lover's soft hands.

"Taeil..."

"Taeyong?"

Everything turned black, then. He saw the boy slowly fading into the distance, and he wasn't so warm anymore.

"Taeyong?"

He felt himself shaking, or being pushed, his name repeated in the distance by some unknown voice.

"Are you awake or not?"

He opened his eyes in a start, saw someone else's looking at him, way too closely, and shoved the person away on instinct.

"What the hell?!"

He shot up from his lying position, saw Yuta's confused glance from beside him, and finally understood he was in his room.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..."

"It's okay." He answered automatically, only after that realizing it was the middle of the night, they were supposed to be sleeping, and Yuta had just woken him up for some unknown reason. He turned to his side and searched blindly in the dark for his phone, that was on the bedside table. _3 am_. "Why the hell did you just wake me up?"

He put his phone to the side, but until his eyes got used again to the dark Yuta was just a black spot in front of him. He rubbed them tiredly.

"Hmm..." As the man in front of him started to get clearer, Taeyong noticed the unmistakable anxiety in the other's fidgety movements.

"Yuta, if you send me back to sleep without a good reason, I'll stab you in my dreams."

The word "dreams" suddenly turned a small light on in his brain, and he faintly remembered he had been dreaming about something good.

"You might want to stab me either way..." He didn't answer that, just furrowed his brows as Yuta sat up a bit straighter in bed and turned the lights on. "I'll just say it very fast. And you can hate me after, you probably will but..."

His eyes were hurting again from the bright light, and he rubbed his head, stifling a yawn.

"I seriously can't... Just... What is it?"

"I kissed Sicheng."

Yuta covered his mouth with his hands, as if to stop himself from unsaying what he just did, and Taeyong let his mouth hang open.

His heart had stopped, and he almost asked if he had heard it right, but the tears shimmering in Yuta's eyes matched the confession.

He looked around then, at nothing in particular, feeling all the negative emotions he had ever felt towards Yuta rushing into his veins.

"Oh..." He swallowed, and there were so many thoughts and words flying in his head he couldn't say a single thing. The only words he uttered seemed to leave his mouth without him noticing. "You kissed Sicheng, or Sicheng-"

"I kissed Sicheng." Yuta answered fast, biting his lip, as if he was afraid the wrong word would set Taeyong off. It probably would.

He turned his back to Yuta and faced the wall, because he had to let this sink before he said something he would come to regret.

The worst part wasn't the feelings. No, he didn't care about that anymore... It was pretty clear by now that they wouldn't ever get involved like that, the way they had at the beginning. It was really the betrayal, the humiliation of being cheated on, that were making his heart sting.

"Please say something."

He shook his head, refusing to look at Yuta, and when he spoke his voice wasn't as cold as he wanted to, but still sounded free of emotions.

"I don't know what to say..."

Taeyong finally slowly turned his head, but didn't know how to handle the other's sad, shameful eyes, so he turned it again.

He thought of every week that had passed, that led them to where they were now.

Did he really have the right to be mad? It was a hurtful thing to do, sure. He had always been a little sensitive in a few aspects, and this was the type of thing that would usually bring him down, leave him with a low self esteem and high levels of self blame. Because while they were on that show, the only thing they needed to be committed to was each other, so was he that hard to be committed to?

However, as he looked at the case more closely, it became progressively harder to be surprised.

They weren't Jaehyun and Doyoung, and their fooling around with Johnny or whatever it was, nor Daisy and Hongseok who only had eyes for each other. Not even Yanan and Shinwon, who also seemed pretty balanced from the start.

They were Yuta and Taeyong. While all of the others, in one way or another, were bonded by an undying romantic chemistry, they weren't. Because the first had been utterly inlove with a blonde man for a while now, and the second had boycotted his own chances from the start, by not opening up to any of the people that he was supposed to.

So he couldn't say Yuta went behind his back and shocked him with the most cruel betrayal ever imagined. Probably even the camera men's, who witnessed more than he did, knew by now that had been bound to happen.

He sighed.

Putting all philosophies aside, could he really blame the man who he didn't love, who didn't love him either, for kissing another man?

"I'm..."

He finally turned around to look at Yuta, whose eyes were even brighter than before, and instead of feeling angry, because _he_  was the one who should be crying, he felt a tinge of sympathy fill his heart.

He hated himself for being so weak.

"I'm so sorry, Taeyong..." Yuta looked down at his hands. "I went to meet him. When I said I needed to think, I went to see to him." He probably saw the disappointment in Taeyong's eyes, because he didn't waste any more time in explaining himself. "Not like a date! I wanted to talk to him... to... I don't know, maybe understand what was going on between us. To stop it so that we didn't hurt you nor Taeil."

Only then did he remember Taeil. And although for some reason, for a second his heart was filled with warm, the next one he felt enraged and wronged. He saw Taeil. Sitting on his own bed, happy, lovely, softly, not having any idea of anything.

"You have to tell Taeil..."

Yuta's eyes and movements were frantic then, and he grabbed the older's shoulders, then his hands, then shook his head.

"No! Taeyong... I didn't... It just happened, it wasn't meant to... and we agreed to keep it to ourselves."

"Then why did you tell me?"

Yuta didn't change expression then, just shrugged, and Taeyong fought the part of him that wanted to leave that house in that exact moment and never come back.

"I couldn't keep it from you..."

He very tentatively held Taeyong's hand, but the latter pushed him away, not as gently as he hoped. He couldn't think straight like that.

"He has the right to know. I won't be able to look at him either, Yuta."

The first tear fell from the younger's eyes, and Taeyong hated how sad it made him.

"Please, please, please... He's going back to China at the end of the show, I can't... I want a chance to... If you go, and Taeil goes, everything's over..." Taeyong furrowed his brow, and went to sit with his back againts the headboard. Yuta was openly asking him to stay, so that he could be with another man. "You'll only hurt Taeil, and I have no idea if Sicheng will want anything to do with me outside of this... I know it's a lot to ask, and selfish, and I don't deserve it, but..."

Taeyong shook his head, and hid it in his hands. He didn't have that much of an ego, in the end. He was already getting over the going behind his back thing because he was seeing in front of him a version of Yuta completely in love with someone else. One that had never been with him.

Because that was how Yuta acted when he actually liked someone. He was bright, and possessive, and impulsive. And Taeyong never knew that because the other had never acted like that with _him_. The both of them had been doomed from the start, no matter how many cheating happened or not between of them.

He thought of Taeil. He wondered if thinking about kissing him hadn't been as much of a betrayal as Yuta's, because who knows if the younger had ever thought of kissing Sicheng until it happened. By that rule, Taeyong had cheated way before than he did.

And on that note, staying here, ignoring Yuta's impulsive action, would be benefic for both. Because he wouldn't have to go through the public embarrassment of being the victim, and Yuta would get his Sicheng. And also, he'd get to see Taeil.

That last argument, no matter how small, was probably what pushed him the most towards staying.

Taeyong sighed, shook his head at Yuta once again, and to the younger's and his surprise, he did the last thing he was supposed to. He hugged him.

He liked to think it was because he felt sorry for the other, who was just as messed up as he was, but in the end, he knew he needed one too.

"It's just because you're crying, you were still a dick." Yuta laughed, and hugged him a bit tighter. Taeyong closed his eyes, convinced himself that he wasn't being weak, but the complete opposite, before parting them and looking the other in the eye. "But you will tell Taeil as soon as this ends. No matter what happens between you and Sicheng."

Yuta nodded, first a little unsure, then more promising following Taeyong's pointed look.

He hoped he wouldn't grow to resent this, or the way he reacted. Yuta's grateful expression assured him a little bit.

He suddenly felt tiredness wash over him, and searched for his phone again. Almost an hour had passed, so he decided he couldn't possibly think clearly for much longer, and layed back down, exhausted.

Yuta didn't move immediately, but stayed there, looking at him a bit unsure.

"Why did you wake me up in the middle of the night?"

Yuta blushed, and only answered after turning off the lights once again.

"Oh... Because of the cameras."

He laughed, in spite of the situation, and suddenly remembered again he had been dreaming, though it seemed like a lifetime ago.

Yuta got more comfortable under the covers, but they were both on their backs, looking at the ceiling, too tired to move, too worried to sleep.

There was a long pause until Taeyong spoke, voice already rough.

"Yuta?"

"Yeah?"

The other's quick reply proved they were both still very awake.

"We'll be honest with each other from now on, right?"

There was a moment of silence, then he heard shuffling from Yuta's side, and, as if the night hadn't already surprised him enough times, the other came really close, lying his head on Taeyong's shoulder.

He would have gotten mad, that Yuta was seeking so much comfort in a situation where he wasn't the one needing it, but he was pretty much holding onto it too.

He shook his head once he realized Yuta probably knew it.

"You're one of the best people I've ever met... I promise to be less of a disappointment from now on."

Taeyong shook his head again, this time smiling even though he wasn't really happy.

"You're not a disappointment... Just a little inconvenient."

Yuta laughed, and he did too.

His conscience was so full of doubts, he didn't know anymore what he was upset about.

He felt warm on his side, from Yuta being glued to him, and his eyes widened as a realization hit him, one that made him think he was no better than the other.

He had been dreaming about Taeil.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

It was painful to wake up the following day. He only managed to fall asleep way after the end of their conversation, with hours of thoughs and more thoughts passing by in a blur.

Hours he spent doubting his choice, then convincing himself he wouldn't subconsciously start to resent Yuta for this, and finally trying to remember what exactly he had been dreaming about.

The last one was hard, because while in the other topics he had concrete images and points, with this one all that came to his head was the image of Taeil, very close to him, giving him a very positive feeling. He was pretty sure it was with that image that his eyes finally closed for the night.

But as soon as he fell asleep, he had to get out of bed. And once they were in the cab that would take them to the woods, and he could finally revive the events from the night prior, the prospect of seeing both Taeil and Sicheng was so stressful he almost felt nauseous.

He looked at Yuta then, who was distractedly looking out the window, although probably just as nervous, and just to relieve his conscience, he decided that it was the other's choice in the end, not his secret to tell, so he couldn't, nor shouldn't, feel guilty.

He forgot the resolve as soon as he saw Taeil's sleepy, yet still pretty, face emerge from his cab.

He must have made some kind of facial expression, that showed how anxious he was, because he felt a tap on his shoulder, and Yuta gave him a look that in all its blankness pleaded him to stay quiet.

So he sighed, looked away and resigned himself to not say anything, because he had to stay true to his word.

He saw Johnny approaching their group, stopping midway because Doyoung went to him, an innocent smile, a tentative hand on the taller's arm, and Taeyong had never been more shocked at someone else's lack of shame.

"You think it's weird too?"

He turned abruptly to his side, where Taeil was standing, with rosy cheeks from the cold.

He was about to turn to Yuta then, to see if it was alright to talk to the older, as if Taeyong had been the one who cheated. He reminded himself that all he had to do was _not_ mention the kiss, which should be easy enough.

He smiled, then laughed quietly and nodded his head, for once not knowing what to say.

"He teaches us how to have a healthy marriage, and then gets in the way of one."

Taeil was smiling, shaking his head when Johnny's loud, charming laugh, echoed over their heads.

He laughed, nudging the redhead's shoulder with his, and noticing Sicheng looking over at them. He instantly felt the need to back off, but the blonde's eyes looked down as soon as they were caught, and Taeyong once again remembered he wasn't the one who should be feeling guilty.

He recovered his smile, and was about to talk to Taeil about the weather, both because he was desperate to fill his head with something not related to love affairs, and to prompt the other to not hide again this bubbly side he was showing him, but he didn't have the time.

Johnny went to the middle of their messed up circle, hollered for everyone to pay attention, and began to explain what exactly would happen in the following days.

He didn't pay much attention, obviously, his eyes diverting from Yuta to Sicheng, then to Taeil, back to Yuta, and getting caught a few times by Doyoung, who always raised his eyebrow.

He sighed once they were dismissed, ready to ask Yuta what they were supposed to do, ready to throw himself to the lake that was a few feet away from them and let himself sink.

He didn't know how he was supposed to get through this week.

  
  


 

 

\----

 

 

 

They somehow managed to spend the first days without a conflict, and Taeyong felt the fresh air of the trees cleaning his head of all toxic thoughts it had and take them with the wind.

Exactly what he needed.

He also found out this was nothing like what he had seen on bbc, because him and Yuta needed Jaehyun's help to set up the tent, and Taeil was the only person able to actually fish something. Still, in the end, they were surviving pretty well.

Except that Yuta was almost completely ignoring Sicheng, which caused a few raised eyebrows and side comments by Daisy, but things ended well because he knocked some sense into the younger's head, saying that if he had purposely stayed on the show for him to have something with Sicheng, then he wasn't about to throw that away.

Still, he couldn't talk much, seeing as he was keeping his own distance from Taeil too, sparing his conscience the guilt.

Thinking about it, it would have been a sad expierence hadn't Doyoung and Daisy made sure everyone heard their comedic arguments. They all rolled their eyes, but he knew that everyone present appreciated the distraction.

The highlight of the process was right now though, the first time Taeyong felt himself genuinely laughing.

They were all sitting in a half circle, Johnny included, and the contestants would have to play someone else who was also on the show.

They had spoken previously with the person assigned to be their partner though, to describe him, because even the games had a therapeutic benefit here.

So he was careful to not be harsh, even on accident, when describing Yuta. He settled for a few funny characteristics, and saying that the man they knew was pretty equal to the man at home.

He had a feeling that that wouldn't matter, judging by Doyoung's evil smile as he waited for his partner to go join him.

  
"Ok, where's my partner?"

To his surprise, Taeil was the one who got up, already smiling nervously as he went to meet the other in the middle.

But to his credit, although maybe he was already in character, Doyoung still patted the older's back to calm him down.

"Alright..."

It didn't take two seconds to guess which person the black haired boy was imitating.

As soon as Johnny gave him the nod to start, his arm went around Taeil's shoulder, his best seductive smile taking place, and Taeyong was laughing already.

His erotic dance moves following by slutty drops had Hongseok cheering, and Daisy cursing.

Doyoung grabbed Taeil's collar then, a seductive smirk on his lips as he talked closely to his ears, words that no one outside the scene could have heard.

He noticed how neither Jaehyun nor Johnny hid their discomfort very well, and to his own surprise and later disappointment, he didn't either.

To be completely honest, for a small moment there, as he saw Doyoung grab the other's face, he wished with all his strength he had been the one chosen to play Daisy.

He imagined himself grabbing Taeil's clothes. He saw them at home, just the two of them, lying on the couch, already dark in the apartment because they hadn't gotten up to turn the lights on yet, Taeyong kissing his neck, running his fingers through the other's hair.

Doyoung's voice brought his gaze away from the redhead, and he instinctively looked at Yuta, his heart only beating again once he saw the other's attention was fully turned to the pair acting.

"Babe, want to fuck?"

Both boys broke character at that, at the same time as everyone laughed, but Taeil was quick to compose himself, hiding his smile with his hand before straightening his body and his lips.

He raised an eyebrow, before slowly taking his jacket off, and then his shirt, not minding the weather. He threw both items at the tree behind them, and flexed all his muscles, causing Doyoung to finally lose it and drop to the ground laughing.

Now, he wasn't going to say Taeil had the body of a god, nor Hongseok's. But damn him if he had ever seen a skin so white and clean. So soft looking that it took all the power within him to not go over there and touch.

His mind went far away again, this time wondering what Taeil's skin would feel like against his. He imagined an even softer moment, with the both of them between the sheets, the last rays of sunshine illuminating the room very soflty, the redhead's face even more mesmerizing as he kissed Taeyong.

He looked away, got back to himself, but this time he wasn't so lucky concerning Yuta's eyes.

"Wait 'till we get home."

The older's line failed completely at being smooth, especially considering he hadn't managed to say it without a smile, but everyone, the targeted pair included, laughed so it was worth it.

There were a cheers as Doyoung bowed, pushing Taeil back to do the same because the latter had already started to look for his clothes again.

Taeil put on his clothes, once Doyoung allowed him to leave, and once his head emerged from the shirt again, his eyes locked with Taeyong's, just for a very long second.

He quickly glanced at something else, but for some reason he had a feeling that Taeil's eyes hadn't found his just randomly.

He registered Doyoung hugging Daisy and apologizing for the scenes, although the woman playfully shoved him away, and he also noticed Taeil sitting back down by Sicheng's side, a bit awkwardly like always, but his sleeve was being pulled by Yuta, telling him it was his turn.

And he finally saw Johnny, who was indeed motioning at him to go and play his part.

He was already in the middle, feeling oddly intimidated, when he noticed the person who got up to play his partner, and his heart stopped and froze all over again.

He gulped, and asked himself why would they pick Sicheng to be his partner, of all people, but made sure to smile as he came over.

The way the other didn't look up at him showed Taeyong how guilty he was probably feeling, and yet he still couldn't help the grudge he kind of held against him.

He spoke out of control, and before things got awkward.

"So... who wants to hear an interesting fact about bees?"

Daisy laughed loudly at that, and poked Doyoung's head, clapping with exaggerated vigor, just to spite the other.

He looked at his side then, and Sicheng either forgot his character or had stage fright, because he stood there like a statue, his eyes glued to Yuta's.

He looked at the two, at how genuine their love seemed, that in a moment of distress the person the blonde looked for was immediately Yuta. He didn't know if he felt more sorry for himself or Taeil. Maybe himself.

For the sake of their audience, and only that, he intervened once again.

"Jaehyun!" He walked to the blonde and cringed as he patted his shoulder a bit awkwardly. "Would you like to hear an interesting fact about bees? Maybe not, but I'll say it either way because I had a ton of work researching it before coming here!"

More laughs, a pout from the depicted boy, and Sicheng finally seemed to get the message. Still, his eyes never left the ground as he spoke.

"It's okay, Doyoung, I'd rather just take in the fresh air..."

He understood then, that it was up to him to cheer up everyone else, because either Sicheng was a terrible actor and didn't know how to work with the words given to him, or Doyoung didn't tell him anything interesting because Jaehyun was a perfect human being.

"Oh, great! You want some interesting facts about air?"

Sicheng at least smiled at that, and Daisy was on the floor laughing.

He looked for the one person whose approval was important though, and as soon as he saw Taeil's amused smile he figured he was doing something right.

"I don't know Doyoung, I think I'm going to work out for a little bit."

He finally took pity on the boy beside him, and decided they had talked for enough time now.

"I'll sit back down then. Unless you want to hear an interesting fact about the movement of sitting down?"

Sicheng shook his head, but for a very short moment his eyes crossed Taeyong's and he swore he saw a hint of gratefulness in them.

He sat back down, after receiving a high five from Jaehyun and a smile from Taeil, finally being able to breathe without feeling his heart hammering against his chest.

Yuta also patted him on the back, smiling sweetly before getting up to join Hongseok on the center.

Their performance was funny too, though it was mostly his husband pretending to loose his temper every two seconds, and Hongseok screaming at every branch he saw. Shinwon and Yanan at their finest.

Still, he saw slight annoyance in Shinwon's eyes once he looked their way, the first completely ignoring Yanan's delicate hand on his shoulder. He couldn't blame him though, Yuta had completely owned the act.

He said so to the younger once he sat back down, smiling brightly because everyone was still laughing.

Yuta nudged his shoulder gently then, saying Taeyong had done a good job too, but he didn't answer that because Jaehyun and Shinwon were now standing in the middle, ready to start.

"Oh my god, Yuta, what are you doing? You should disinfect your feet before walking on the ground!" Jaehyun's first sentence got him hiding his face on his hands, as he heard laughter echoing around him. Doyoung's being particularly loud.

Of course Yuta would have mentioned that specific detail about him.

"Taeyong, it's okay I'll just take my shoes off."

Jaehyun gasped, and Shinwon couldn't keep a smile from his face.

By his side, Yuta was getting red from laughing, and he made sure to hit the back of his head. Once he made that movement though, he noticed Taeil looking at him, also smiling softly.

"Jesus christ Yuta, that's completely insanitary!"

He turned his head back to the scene just as Shinwon made move to kiss the other, and he didn't get wether he was actually planning on kissing Jaehyun because the latter pushed him away.

"Wow. I can't kiss you without you brushing your teeth first."

Jaehyun hadn't broke character once since the start, and Taeyong was actually cursing his luck.

He still laughed though, couldn't keep himself from doing so, because it was actually funny, and everyone was having a good time.

"Whatever, I'd be thinking of Sicheng anyway."

His smile dropped then, and the joke fell flat. Shinwon covered his mouth, as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud and Jaehyun was suddenly still, looking at Doyoung as if the other would rescue him. Everyone around them slowly stopped laughing or clapping as they realized what had been said.

And Taeyong was simply speechless.

He looked at Yuta, who refused to stare at anything but the ground, then at Taeil who was also looking around, and for the third time that evening their eyes crossed. The older seemed so lost Taeyong just wanted to take his hand and confess what he knew.

He didn't, he stayed quiet and looked down too, wishing this moment would pass already.

"Ok, my turn."

He had never been more grateful for Daisy, who got up very promptly, and in a matter of seconds shoved the two men off the center and called for the last person to act, who was Yanan.

She proceeded to imitate Taeil, who she was supposed to, and it wasn't really that funny, but everyone just clapped and smiled forcefully in an attempt to move on.

And with everyone he meant only half of them, because Sicheng kept looking at the ground, Yuta at Sicheng, and Taeil and him at each other.

He sighed defeated, because as much as he had gotten over that kiss, the confirmation that Yuta not paying any mind to Taeyong when Sicheng was around was already a known fact within their group always rubbed him the wrong way.

And still, as he looked at Yuta's shiny eyes, probably feeling like he was the single worst person on the planet, he couldn't help but rub his back comfortingly.

Because he had grown to love Yuta as a friend. No matter the fights (that weren't even that many), they were in this together, and seeing the bright boy with a hint of sadness in his usually lively eyes was enough to give him the need to help.

He sighed again.

He was doing everything wrong on this show, wasn't he?

 

 

 

  
\----

 

 

 

  
"I didn't tell Shinwon anything about you and Sicheng." They hadn't spoken much after the game. Johnny made a few comments, praising how they had successfully described their partners to one another, and after that they went to dinner, but to no one's surprise Yuta said he was tired and wanted to go to his tent. So he did, and after a long and tiring meal where Taeyong avoided eye contact with pretty much everyone, he of course made sure to bring some leftovers to the younger. But it was while he had been eating that it hit him, actually, that maybe Yuta had gotten the idea that Taeyong had purposely told Shinwon something about him and Sicheng, just to punish him. So once he got back, he waited until they were both comfortable, the pink haired already eating, to finally get it off his chest. "Just in case you were wondering..."

Yuta's eyes widened, and he swallowed everything so fast the older was afraid he'd choke.

"No! I didn't think that..." He looked down at his food, then at Taeyong again. "Ok, wait, if I'm being really honest, then, yeah it occurred to me that you might have used the opportunity to get revenge, but it was gone as fast as it came!"

Taeyong smiled, not surprised nor disappointed, but still a little sad. But the whole situation was making him sad anyway.

After a small pause, Yuta seemed to make a decision, as he left his food aside, shuffled closer to the older and grabbed his hand.

"Did it look like I was trying to get away from you? 'Cause I wasn't... This just... Sort of made me realize how unfair this is all being for you."

He shrugged, insecure about his words, but Taeyong shook his head, and maybe it was because everything was so silent, or maybe he was getting paranoid, but he still spoke only above a whisper.

"You can't feel bad for not loving me. You should be happy that in all this bad luck you somehow managed to find an actual four-leaf clover."

He was being genuine here. He was happy that at least one of them had gotten love out of this. Which didn't invalidate the fact that he still felt sad _he_ hadn't.

The wind was all that was heard for a moment, before Yuta exhaled a bit shakily and smiled.

"I think I found two." Then, as if that had already been too deep for his taste, Yuta picked his food again, and spoke in such a playful way it would have fooled anyone that hadn't heard the first part of their conversation. "And I'm sorry I told Jaehyun you're obsessed with cleaning, but he probably already knew it."

Taeyong rolled his eyes, deciding to obey the other's wish and change the subject.

"Yeah, I didn't even say anything bad about you..."

Yuta laughed softly, with the healing smile that probably was what lured Sicheng in, and Taeyong wondered if he was genuinely happier now than he was a few seconds before, or just pretending to for their sake.

"I'm sorry that it's so hard for you to find something you don't like about me."

Taeyong took the pillow that was next to him and threw it at his husband, laughing once the latter protested and told him to watch out for his food, and just like that, all the tension seemed to disappear.

"I have a list, actually." He went to take his pillow back, before the pink haired had any thoughts on throwing it back. "I add more words every day."

Yuta laughed, mouth full of food and Taeyong smiled as he got more comfortable on his sleep bag.

"I never noticed that. What I did notice though..." He got a bit more serious then, drinking some water from his bottle before whispering with a hand close to his mouth. "Was you eyeing Taeil when he took that shirt off."

"You're crazy."

Taeyong shoved the other's shoulder and felt his ears getting hot. He bit back a curse, because although he could always lie about his feelings, there was no way he would be able to deny that he had indeed looked at Taeil once he took that shirt of. And dreamed about him right after.

"Oh my god, Taeyong!"

Yuta's eyes were wide, as he used his hand to cover his mouth, and Taeyong tried to speak, but he only felt his face getting warmer and his heart shakier.

He also hoped that Yuta wouldn't think he had stayed on the show because of Taeil, because that would be slightly too close to the truth.

"Shut up. You're just trying to ease your own guilt." He almost thought that that would be going too far, but Yuta was still laughing, clapping his hands together like a child would, and it almost made him smile. He still didn't, opted to cover his head with his blanket instead. "Now, let me sleep."

Maybe he wanted to go to sleep to dream of Taeil. Everytime he saw the image of the older, shirtless and blushed, he felt hot all over, and an overwhelming desire of kissing every inch of that perfect face. And it seemed so impossible, but so perfect, he felt like even dreaming about it was a gift.

He turned to his side, pretended to pout as he ignored Yuta's pats on the head, but still smiled once he had his face completely hidden from the younger's eyes.

"Sleep well, Taeyongie."

 

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

  
  
Things went kind of wrong again the following day.

They went back home, and although things were a little awkward because Yuta was doing everything he could to not be less than two feet away from Shinwon, Taeyong was still nudged on the shoulder by Taeil, who smiled at him and told him to get home safely, so he somehow didn't care about anything else.

And now they were already home, Taeyong dozing off on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, already showered because Yuta was kind enough to let him go first. He was almost asleep when he heard his name being called by the younger.

"Yes?"

He lifted his head lazily, although he usually wouldn't have moved at all, but something about the other's tone told him it was laced with sadness.

Yuta showed up at the door then, hair still wet from the shower, the water dripping to his shirt, his hand gripping his phone tightly, and mouth frowning.

"Yuta?"

The younger shook his head and pursed his lips as if to stop himself from crying. Taeyong sat a bit straighter but didn't say anything, giving him the time he needed.  
  
"Taeyong..."

After some hesitation, Yuta finally went over to him, not saying anything and extending his phone to Taeyong instead.

The older took it, unsure, and looked at the younger a few more times to confirm that he was indeed supposed to read what was on the phone.

After a sad nod from the other, Taeyong finally looked closely at the text message shining on the screen.

"Oh..." His brows furrowed, and he was left speechless once he looked back at Yuta. The other made his way around the couch then, and sat beside him. "Yuta..."

He read the message a few more times, trying to find just one possible meaning that wasn't negative.

_I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving tomorrow... I'm so sorry_

He chucked the phone to the side and pulled the other close, covering them both with the blanket, his arms engulfing Yuta in a warm embrace.

He wondered why couldn't they have just one drama-free day.

"Don't be sad, I'm sure you'll change his mind."

Yuta shook his head, and Taeyong hated that not even him was believing his own sentence.

"The dinner is tomorrow... He's not going to be that easily convinced." He burrowed his head in Taeyong's chest, sniffling. "We'll all go home tomorrow, and that's it."

Yuta sniffled again, and the older decided in the split of a second, maybe because he himself had second reasons to stay, to give him the encouragement he needed.

"Hey, what's that?" He sighed before gently detaching himself from the younger, but still looked at him with the stern eyes he usually reserved for whenever Hyuck broke something. "What's been going on with you lately? That's not the Yuta I know! Who literally learned a chinese greeting to woo Sicheng! Who just last week asked me to stay married to him so he could seduce another man." The pink haired chuckled at that, and Taeyong finally let his eyes show a bit more compassion. Just enough to get his message across. "Yuta, he's just insecure about staying, probably needs some reassurance...You can't give up that easily..."

Yuta shook his head, laying back against the couch and cleaning the snot on his face with his shirt. Taeyong scrunched his nose at the action, but let it pass.

"But he's right! Everyone's against us, and thinking we're jerks for making a fool out of you and Taeil!" He sighed, and Taeyong chose to ignore the insult present among the lines. "A week isn't going to change that."

He rolled his eyes then, because Yuta could surely be stubborn sometimes. And a whirlwind of emotions.

"First of all, I'm the only one who thinks you're jerks. And that's because you two don't get your acts together. Yes, a week won't change that, nor two, nor a month, _you_ will!" Yuta looked at him with a frown, and Taeyong just ruffled his hair a bit. "You need to blow your nose, with an actual tissue, and then go and tell Sicheng that you're willing to fight for him! And if he's not, then maybe he's not the one for you..."

Yuta silently listened to him, not answering but instead looking a bit lost at the turned off TV in front of them.

Taeyong sank back into the couch after a minute or two, the tiredness overcoming his curiosity for what Yuta had to say.

At least he finally felt at peace with helping the younger. And maybe because he had come to terms with the fact that they were only meant to be friends, his heart stopped aching whenever he saw the other boy talking about Sicheng.

It was a while before Yuta finally spoke, voice wet with tears.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow." He burrowed back into Taeyong's arms, and the older, with a big effort, didn't comment on the wet hair making him cold, covering them both with the blanket instead. "I'm still getting cuddles now, though."

He just rolled his eyes, pretended that the text message hadn't scared him too. They couldn't leave. After everything they'd been through, they couldn't leave before the last week.

 

 

 

 

  
\----

 

 

 

 

  
"So you'll talk to him now?"

Taeyong raised his eyebrow as Yuta looked at him, a bit breathless, as they walked down the corridor that led them the common area.

They hadn't been very lucky. Yuta spent the morning trying to prepare himself to go see Sicheng, but when he finally went to the other's apartment, heart beating fast and speech carved in his brain, the couple had already left to got have lunch.

Between that and his own lunch, Yuta figured he'd just say something to the blonde during the ceremony, that this time started earlier so that everyone could relax a bit.

"Yeah... I have to." Taeyong was about to mention that Sicheng most certainly had already written down the decision, but Yuta must have sensed the question. "He can always say he changed his mind. You practically did that."

Taeyong rolled his eyes, biting back a remark, and Yuta nudged their shoulders with a smile, just before they got to the door.

The younger stopped there, because clearly neither of them wanted to go in yet, but then he smiled at Taeyong and opened the door for him, winking.

The brunette smiled, shaking his head as laughter filled their ears immediately as the door opened.

He probably should have known, by the way Daisy possessively grasped a bottle of some expensive drink, while Shinwon laughed at some joke he had just told, that it was going to be a long night.

 

 

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

 

They all drank. Some more than others, Taeyong being only slightly drunk. Just enough to be pleasant and polite, and not to go over and touch Taeil the way he had last time.

So he was mostly quiet, enjoying the bickering going on around him, and leaning on Yuta once in a while, before remembering he shouldn't seem too bored.

He had actually been observing Taeil and his calm, pacific posture that contrasted with Doyoung's very energetic one, when the waiter brought in the question of the day.

Even after that, thought, he kept watching Taeil for some reason, finding it funny how the two of them were both almost asleep. How the older's eyes got unfocused every now and then and he seemed to get lost in his own little world, like a child would. He had to look down to hide his fondness.

Yuta's arm around his shoulder brought him back, just in time to see Hongseok offering the paper to his wife in an attempt at chivalry that delighted her.

He shook his head internally, because neither of them seemed as effortlessly sweet as Taeil.

Daisy read the question with a smile, after making sure everyone was paying attention.

"Ok... If you were one of the specialists, what match would you have made?" Daisy laughed, before evilly looking around the room, and like in every question whenever they played this game, his heart sped up for no reason. "Me and Dodo. Cause we're the smartest around here."

Doyoung laughed, eyes watering as his drunk self hugged Jaehyun in commotion, and Taeyong just sighed in relief that she hadn't taken the question very seriously. Although he would admit those two made a great team.

The attractive woman passed the card to Jaehyun then, and Taeyong sat a bit straighter, trying to not get nervous about this game. Yuta must have noticed, because he gripped his shoulder in a comforting way.

"Well... I think... Hmmm.... Yanan..." The younger looked around the couches, a dimply smile on his face as he chose another person. "And... Taeil."

There were a few confused glances and laughs among the group, Doyoung being the one voicing their thoughts with an amused smile.

"Why?"

Jaehyun shrugged as he passed the paper onto his boyfriend's hand.

"Cause they're both quiet."

Doyoung laughed, the others were a bit less exuberant and simply smiled.

"Babe that's not-"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

Taeil suddenly got up, taking all of Taeyong's attention from the couple bickering. The older simply smiled at him as he put his glass down on the table and started to walk away.

Only then did Taeyong notice he had been the only one to look at the redhead, except for Yanan who also nodded in acknowledgement. The irony.

He felt an overwhelming need to run after him, then. But that would cause too much attention, stir too much drama.

He looked around instead, at Doyoung's smiley face as he probably made his own match, but couldn't manage to pay attention. It was like he had his phone's on, and all he could hear was Taeil, Taeil, Taeil...

He stayed there for what felt like 10 minutes, and probably was only one, and as soon as Yuta moved his arm, he used the opportunity to get up saying he also needed to use the restroom.

No one made a big deal about it, or they all pretended not to, besides Yuta who winked knowingly, and without even noticing, Taeyong was already in front of the bathroom.

His heart was beating fast, his hands shaking, and he realized he didn't know what he was going there.

He opened the door after giving himself a push, only to immediately see Taeil by the sinks, washing his hands.

The still lit up phone on his side, with a solitaire game opened, gave away the fact he hadn't been washing his hands though. Taeyong smiled at how adorably dumb that was.

Taeil looked at him through the mirror, and his shoulders suddenly relaxed.

"Oh..." He sighed before taking some tissues to dry his hands. "It's just you..."

Taeyong didn't stop to think about how that "just" made his heart flutter, how it meant that Taeil wasn't nervous about being around him, how he would've been _worried_ had someone else came in, because then he would've stayed there forever.

He smiled instead.

"I think I hate that game."

Taeil let out a soft laugh, shaking his head with a smile, and Taeyong could already feel that drunk part of him begging him to inch closer.

"Yeah, it's not my favourite either..." The brunette walked a bit closer, his back resting against the sink, and Taeil seemed to hesitate a little before continuing. "I'm leaving tonight anyway."

"What?"

As quickly as the tension had dissipated, he felt a knife in his heart, twisting inside of him more and more as he realized the implications of what Taeil had just said.

He couldn't be serious.

"What's so surprising about it?"

Everything.

Or nothing. Now that he though about it, the fact Taeil had even stayed this long was much more surprising. But still didn't stop his knife to sink deeper.

"Why now?"

Taeil shrugged, and Taeyong started to try and find something positive about this, something he wouldn't miss about the redhead, but he found absolutely nothing.

"I don't know, I feel like it's been long enough..." Except that there was only a week left. He frowned, and Taeil directed the conversation towards him, probably not that comfortable anymore. "How are things between you and Yuta?"

This time he was the one to shrug, thinking about a way of directing the conversation towards Taeil again. How could he convince him to stay without having a reason to?

"We're good...."

Taeil furrowed his brows, but nodded nonetheless. Still, there was something in his expression he couldn't decipher.

"Im glad you're working it out, but..." The older trailed off, then shook his head as he finally pushed himself away from the sinks. "We should be going."

He was about to walk, but in a second Taeyong had put himself in front of him.

"But what?"

Taeil sighed, probably annoyed, but Taeyong was too upset to remember all the etiquette rules he had learned.

"Just be careful, yeah?"

He didn't get the look Taeil gave him, but was so dizzy all of a sudden, so desperate to assure the older, he didn't even register what he had been about to say.

"Oh, we're not really..." He abruptly shut up, remembering Taeil was the number one on the list of people who could _not_ know Yuta and him had officially ended things, and why. "Are you really leaving? A hundred percent?"

Taeil nodded, almost as if he regretted having to, and Taeyong didn't know what overcame him, what made him completely forget about his morals and his promise, but all he knew was that the redhead would leave no matter what he said, so he needed to say everything he could.

"They kissed. Yuta and Sicheng kissed." Taeil's moth opened, shock written all over it, and Taeyong hated himself for being so weak. For actually giving Taeil a reason to go. "I'm sorry... I... I couldn't let you leave without saying it."

"Who told you that?"

His own eyes widened as he looked at the redhead, wishing he had never said anything. How messed up was him, how desperate for Taeil's attention was him, that he would tell him the one thing he wasn't supposed to?

"Yuta... God I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you but-"

"I already knew about it..." Taeil looked at him, and then he started to laugh in that way reserved for situations like these, where nothing was funny but just stupid. "Sicheng told me... and I..."

Taeil shook his head, and sighed before going to lean back against the sink again.

Taeyong was shocked. He noticed his heart had been threatening his chest for a while now. All the nights he spent, full of guilt and regret for keeping his secret, and turns out it wasn't that much of a secret anyway. He swallowed before talking.

"You knew? This whole time?" He really shouldn't be as surprised as he felt in that moment. He didn't know what had made him think Yuta was the only decent person. "God... you have no idea, the guilt was eating me alive!"

Taeil laughed, muttered an "I know" looking at the ground, and Taeyong didn't know if he should be happy that everything was clear now, or absolutely destroyed that the other was most definitely going to leave today.

He sighed and went back to the position he had been in, mirroring Taeil's, reminding himself that anyone could come in, at any moment, so he didn't have time.

"You're still leaving?"

He looked at Taeil, his eyes sad and begging him to stay, but the older gave him a puzzled look.

"Why would I stay?"

Taeyong looked at the ground, because he didn't know why. He didn't even know why _he_ was staying, how was he supposed to answer that?

"What changed?"

He still refused to look into Taeil's eyes, but as soon as the other said his name, in that sweet, honey-like voice, he felt his heart melting.

"Taeyong... It's just getting too complicated..."

The way even Taeil seemed sad saying that, like he was just as tired and worn out as Taeyong sometimes felt, almost made him feel like a monster. Why would he want the older to stay when he was so miserable?

"For me it just got simpler!" He very abruptly realized he only wanted Taeil to stay _for_ him. He wanted to be the reason the other stayed. And Taeil would be his. "Look, I know I'm a fool for staying... but Sicheng and Yuta are in love, and Yuta's a great friend now, and I..."

He was rambling. He didn't have a reason. Didn't have an argument. Not even a solid word. Taeil knew it too, but was kind enough to give him one last chance.

"And?"

"Can't you stay?"

He finally looked at the other.

The boy who had been his dream for half of the competition, his safe bubble to retire to and pretend none of the bad things happening were real. And that boy looked so sad that _he_ was sad, that Taeyong felt like he was being unfair. Pathetic. Begging Taeil to stay even when he knew he was being selfish.

"Why would you want that?" The redhead tilted his head to the side, as if confirming what he thought before he said it out loud, carefully. "I'm not... Taeyong I don't want you to want me because you're looking for a substitute. Because you dont want to leave this show alone."

Taeil pushed himself up, and for a moment Taeyong thought he'd walk his way, but he didn't.

The brunette bit his lip then, because he wanted so bad to prove him wrong, but he couldn't.

"That's not... God, I want to get to know you so bad and I don't know why." As he spoke, and Taeil simply looked at him silently, Taeyong realized how right the other was. How wrong his feelings were. "You're the only good thing on this show."

Yuta was too, but he also caused a lot of his problems. Like this one right here.

Taeil shook his head, smiled at the ground, and Taeyong almost started to cry.

The beautiful redhead walked up to him, then stopped to look him in the eyes. Taeyong looked at him, expecting him to say something, just enough to not let the huge rock standing over him crush him. But the latter simply raised his hand, moved it as if he was about to touch Taeyong's cheek, and the younger held his breath.

Taeil retreated it in the end, and grabbed Taeyong's shoulder instead, gripping it as gently as possible.

He left, and Taeyong stood there, looking at nothing, still feeling his right shoulder as warm as if he had gotten shot. His heart beating fast, but his chest tight.

Had he really simply been infatuated with Taeil all along?

 

 

 

 

  
\----

 

 

 

 

  
Sicheng was on the couch, Taeil by his side. Yuta had only managed to have a moment with the blonde right before dinner, and according to the frown he supported for the rest of the meal, things didn't go well.

However, Taeyong still held onto the hope that maybe they'd all stay. They had to, because it was the last week. Things weren't to supposed to end like that.

Seokjin asked Sicheng what his choice was, and Taeyong felt Yuta's sweaty hand gripping his tightly.

"Leave."

It lacked emotion, and Taeyong would have been mad hadn't he noticed the blonde looking down at his lap, and even more briefly at the japanese holding onto him right now.

He refused to look at Yuta, even as a few murmurs were heard around them, because he knew Taeil was about to say the same thing.

No matter the love Yuta had for Sicheng, nor whatever the relationship between him and Taeil could be called, because friendship didn't seem to make it justice, they'd leave.

_It wasn't enough._

And he knew, as soon as he turned his head to the side to look at his husband, that they were silently agreeing on going home, as soon as the other couple went.

He caressed the warm hand in his, as he took in everything around him. That was probably the last time he'd see it. This had been his last chance to find love, and he had blown it, without even knowing.

He had let Taeil get under his skin, created an image of a perfect man around him, and now he didn't know if it was love or desperation, but either way the older didn't deserve it. Not when they both came along with his selfishness.

He took one last longing look at Taeil, his throat so tight he was afraid he'd stop breathing any moment. He observed the work of art a couple of feet away from him, his delicate smile, and gripped Yuta's hand tighter.

He knew there was no point in staying.

 

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, ehe, I just couldn't publish the rest on this chapter... anyway i think there are only 2 left... hope you guys liked it <3


	9. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Im so sorry for not having posted for SO LONG, but I had exams and I basically didn’t have time for anything other than study (and write that super small fic for hyuck’s birthday)... anyway, I’ll update this and the epilogue now, as an apology for keeping you guys waiting! Hope you like it !!

"Uh, this one's cute."

 

Taeyong sighed, because of course his brother would pick the same movie he had watched a hundred times already. 

 

He placed the remote on the arm of the couch, a fond smile escaping his lips, seeing how excitedly Donghyuck started the movie.

 

Taeyong had came home a day before, after one of the worst of his life. He and Yuta left, obviously, and he traded numbers with most of the people there, but he didn't get any form of contact with Taeil. He didn't even hug him goodbye because Doyoung wouldn't let go of the redhead.

 

So he resigned himself to go home, hugging Yuta instead, with promises of never losing their friendship.

 

And as much as he was happy he had gotten such a good friend out of this experience, the thought of never seeing Taeil again was kind of killing him. Maybe he could stalk him on social media...

 

He was brought back by the bell ringing out of nowhere, but before he could get up, Hyuck immediately grabbed his arm.

 

"No way. I've just gotten comfortable."

 

Taeyong shook his head at his brother's pout, before leaning in for a quick kiss on his nose and getting up, his body cold as soon as he wasn't on their warm cocoon anymore.

 

"I'll be right back."

 

Donghyuck was already focused on the movie again, and the brunette smiled as he walked lazily to the door, wondering who could it be.

 

It was ringing again by the time he crossed the living room, and he slowly opened the door, to a person he had not been expecting at all.

 

"Yuta?"

 

The younger threw himself at Taeyong, and the older couldn't help but smile widely as he hugged back, surprised because he was pretty sure the other was supposed to be on a plane.

 

He smelled that sweet, fresh scent that came with Yuta, and realized he missed him more than he thought.

 

"Yongie!" 

 

Yuta pulled back, grinning, and between the giant smile and colorful cheeks, Taeyong couldn't help but notice how healthy he seemed.

 

"I thought you were going home..."

 

Yuta nodded, a smile still strong on his features as he adjusted Taeyong's sweater. The older noticed then that he probably looked like trash in comparison to the other's clean, glamorous almost, clothes.

 

"I am! I've got a plane in a couple of hours... wanted to drop by before..." Taeyong smiled, blushing at the other's cheeky wink. "I'll be going to China right after."

 

Taeyong opened his mouth, both in shock and happiness, and a hint of jealousy that he quickly suppressed. Props to Yuta, for going after what he wanted. It was a good thing at least one of them had the guts to.

 

"Oh, and you came here just to rub it in my face? This is why I wanted the divorce."

 

Yuta laughed, brightly, all the sadness from the past week completely gone from his face. He seemed healthy. And Taeyong felt healthier too. Even though he sometimes forgot there weren't cameras filming his every move anymore. 

 

"Well, I came here to give you something too!" Yuta took out of his pocket a small box, one that you'd usually put a ring in, and Taeyong stared at it sceptically. "What? It's just a small "thank you for putting up with me for seven weeks" gift..."

 

Taeyong raised an eyebrow before taking the small box in his hands, but before he could open it the younger stopped him with his hands.

 

"I'll be going now." 

 

Taeyong got the message, and put the present on the pocket of his sweater.

 

"Thank you, Yuta... You better call once you come back."

 

The younger smiled before going in for another warm hug, this one much more bittersweet than the other.

 

"You better come to Japan."

 

They smiled again, and after some hesitation Yuta finally walked to the car, nodding one last time at Taeyong before getting in.

 

He waited for the car to disappear in the distance, surprising himself with how much he already missed his bright aura.

 

He sat on the porch with a sigh, taking the box in hand, yelling at Hyuck that he'd go join him in a minute.

 

He fiddled with it for a bit before opening it, brows furrowing as he saw a small paper on it. 

 

Was that a message?

 

He took the piece in his hands, very gently unfolding it to read what was there.

 

And then he smiled. He smiled, and took note to go inside as soon as possible and text Yuta a thousand heart emojis. He smiled, kissed the paper, and held it close to his heart.

 

In that paper, in a very neat calligraphy, were, in all its glory nine digits, followed by a name that never ceased to give Taeyong butterflies.

 

\----

 

"How do I look?"

 

Taeyong usually didn't ask his brother for his opinion on outfits, not because he lacked fashion sense (Donghyuck was pretty fashionable actually), but mostly because if it required help it was date-related, and if it was date-related there was an unspoken rule between brothers that the older wouldn't ever ask the younger.

 

But the rule flew out the window as soon as he realized he had a date with _Taeil_. 

 

And now here he was, desperately standing in front of his little brother, that happened to be snuggled into Yukhei on their couch, balancing back and forth on his feet because he couldn't find an outfit he was happy with.

 

"Just like you did with the six previous outfits." He frowned, the best imitation of a pout he could possibly master, and Donghyuck rolled his eyes. "Which is perfect."

 

Because Yukhei was there, even though he was paying more attention to the movie that was on than to them, Taeyong refrained from reminding Hyuck how many outfits _he_ had tried on before his first date. Which were much more than six.

 

"Isn't your date only tomorrow?"

 

Yukhei looked genuinely confused, even as his eyes stayed glued to the tv, and Donghyuck giggled, raising his head from the older's shoulder to kiss his cheek, and Taeyong hated them both.

 

"Yes, it is."

 

He turned around, fuming, his stomach turning just at the thought of meeting Taeil the following day, without having the perfect outfit planned. Just when they were finally free to be themselves.

 

He sighed, going to stand in front of the mirror that was on their hallway, accessing his clothes a bit better.

 

He had been so surprised Taeil had so promptly accepted to go out with him, he had almost forgotten how to speak. Although, to be fair, he hadn't exactly mentioned it was supposedly a date. His words had been something among the lines of "have a coffee" and "get to know each other better." 

 

And he really shouldn't have started to think about this, because now he'd get stuck on this ever lasting debate with himself, trying to decide wether Taeil saw how clearly interested Taeyong was or not.

 

"Taeyongie?" Donghyuck's voice almost scared him, and he promptly took two steps back into the living room. His brother looked at him sweetly, and he immediately took it as a warning that the other was up to no good. "So are you taking that one tomorrow?"

 

He frowned and looked down at himself. He did like the outfit, and he had tried on so many...

 

"Yes, I think I am." He tried to sound confident, to _feel_ that way at least, but Hyuck's apprehensive look had him frowning. "What?"

 

Donghyuck shook his head, and buried it under Yukhei's chin again, and Taeyong just _knew_ that he was doing it to piss him off, but he always gave in.

 

"Hyuck? What is it?"

 

His brother didn't look at him, just hugged Yukhei closer as he spoke.

 

"Nothing, I just think the stain in the bottom of your shirt won't give a good impression."

 

"What?" The word came out louder than intended, so much that it caused Yukhei to flinch and turn his head to look into his direction. He paid him no mind though, focusing on his shirt instead. A white shirt with something that could be described as black rectangles over the lower part, and that he was pretty sure was stain free. "It's just a pattern."

 

"Oh, I see it! Geez, it looks dirty."

 

Yukhei joined in, his smile dissipating after a glare from Taeyong, that caused him to shrink behind Donghyuck's head.

 

"You guys are insufferable."

 

He turned around, barely keeping in a fond smile as he heard the young couple giggling, and shamelessly high-fiving. 

 

He finally went to his room, looked at the mirror on his closet, and only hesitated for a second before chosing to send a picture to Yuta instead. He was desperate, and the younger had filled his inbox with pictures from his house and family in Osaka, so he actually owed Taeyong.

 

He also used that opportunity to freak out about having a sort of date with Taeil, but it was worth it because he could swear he heard Yuta's happy scream all the way from Japan.

 

 

\----

 

 

"You look beautiful."

 

Taeyong almost slapped himself for starting their date with the most cliche thing ever said, but Taeil's blush was kinda worth it. Still, he did look perfect, Taeil was already the most beautiful person he knew, and Taeyong lived with Donghyuck and practically Yuckhei, so that really said something. 

 

Taeil was just so delicately pieced together that the younger always felt himself being pulled closer to him. As if being around his aura of calmness and sweetness was the closest he'd ever get to heaven.

 

Today he was as simple as ever, just a pink shirt and denim jacket, but it matched his hair that was now getting shades of pink, and it made Taeyong feel soft. 

 

Taeil blushed, a soft smile playing on his lips as he finally sat down across from him. They were in a small and cozy coffee shop, one where Taeyong worked for a while this year, when he had been studying.

 

"Thanks..." He noticed how Taeil's movements seemed more free, surely due to the lack of cameras, and briefly wondered how much of Taeil's personality differed from the one presented on that show. "You come here often?"

 

Taeyong smiled and handed the small menu to the other, letting him choose his food, and maybe hoping their hands would touch and he'd feel the soft skin against his. No such luck.

 

"A lot this year."

 

He mentioned his work there, as a waiter and cook, and Taeil nodded, taking his eyes from the menu just to listen to his mindless blabbing, and it made Taeyong feel oddly important.

 

"Have you had any luck? Picking a job, I mean?" Taeil seemed interested enough in the topic, looking like he had already chosen his food, so Taeyong decided to be completely honest.

 

"Right... I have a list of the ones that stand out the most to me, but I'm still unsure." The older nodded in understanding, probably having had the same doubts, but then again he probably didn't have Taeyong's level of stress. 

 

The waiter chose that moment to come by and ask them what they wanted, and Taeyong let the other ask first, simply letting himself melt as he heard Taeil, because choosing hot chocolate and a heart shaped cookie was just the cutest thing you could possibly order.

 

"Well, anyway, I can help you with the... you know... the job thing." The redhead offered, once they were alone again, smiling shyly when Taeyong looked at him hopefully. "Seeing as I'm the professional here."

 

They both laughed, Taeil probably out of nervousness, Taeyong because he wasn't sure wether this was an actual dream. 

 

They managed to keep a  steady conversation until their snacks arrived, and Taeyong also had the courage to proudly say Donghyuck always ordered that same cookie, which was proven, by Taeil's golden smile, that it had been a good decision.

 

He was drinking his tea when Taeil spoke up, looking at the small mug that his tiny hands made look bigger.

 

"You know, I was really surprised..." Taeyong looked up at the other, who seemed oddly nervous all of a sudden, and smiled as encouragingly as he could. "That you'd want to talk to me..."

 

His smile fell for a moment, because he didn't know if Taeil just wasn't expecting it, or if he actually hadn't realized he was a real angel without wings.

 

"Well, to be fair, the whole situation around us kept me from talking to you as much as I wanted."

 

Taeil frowned confusedly at him, but it soon melted into a shy smile. 

 

"My awkwardness kept _me_ from talking to you as much as I wanted."

 

The confession caused his smile to drop once again, out of surprise only, so he was quick to put it back on, even going as far as letting out a relieved laugh.

 

"I'm sorry, but that's cute."

 

Taeil rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his chocolate before growing serious again.

 

"I'm just happy you're not mad..." Taeyong's furrowed eyebrows probably hinted Taeil that he didn't get the sentence, because the other shrugged. "That I chose to leave..."

 

His eyes widened only slightly, as he tried to shook the embarrassing memory of him practically begging the other to stay off his head. He had been so desperate that day... Now that he thought about it, Taeil coming here had been an absolute miracle.

 

"I mean... I did ask you to go on a date with me..." 

 

His eyes widened, this time a lot, and he wanted with all his soul to just disappear as he realized he had actually said that particular word out loud.Taeil was so clearly reserved, he probably wouldn't appreciate the straightforwardness at all. He probably hadn't even considered this a date.

 

Taeil simply blushed, but apart from that seemed completely unaffected, and Taeyong used that opportunity to save himself. 

 

"The point is... You just did what I should have done the moment I realized Yuta and Sicheng were... involved with each other."

 

He was probably burying himself deeper at this point, because he had just admitted his infatuation with Taeil had been so strong it caused him to not think straight at all.

 

However, the older nodded, taking a sip out of his hot chocolate with a small smile, seemingly more relaxed at his answer, and Taeyong let himself hope.

 

 

\-----

 

 

He only asked what had been on the tip of his tongue the whole afternoon once they were by Taeil's car.

 

The last rays of sunshine were illuminating the side of the older's face, the last colors of autumn surrounding them. Taeil looked so mesmerizing, that if Taeyong had a pen and paper and knew how to draw, he'd capture the moment and save it forever. He could take a picture, but a single lent wouldn't be able to capture the delicate features Taeil possessed.

 

So he limited himself to look at him for as long as it didn't become creepy, and dream for a little while of what would it be like if Taeil's hair was a little more messed up, instead of the perfectly combed pinkish strands.

 

He almost reached out to run his fingers through them, but ended up simply stepping forward, to where Taeil was standing with his back turned to the car, and saying it, so softly the other wouldn't have heard it had a car driven by.

 

"Can I kiss you?"

 

Taeil's eyes widened slightly, and he was almost afraid when the other didn't smile, but he ended up simply nodding a bit dazed. Taeyong later classified it as Taeil wanting to be kissed as much as he wanted to kiss him.

 

"Please."

 

That was enough to make him finally close the distance between them, and slowly, carefully, kiss Taeil. As gently as he could, because he always felt like the older deserved as much care and sweetness as humanly possible. 

 

Taeil kissed back, and Taeyong never expected a first kiss between them to be like this. He knew it wouldn't be like Yuta's, who was a pretty wild kisser, but he expected it to be short and sweet, because it was their first. Instead, Taeil wrapped his arms around his neck and brought himself closer, and Taeyong let him, smiling against his mouth, taking his hands to the other's hair. 

 

Taeyong hasn't made out with that many guys in his lifetime, a few more than the standard maybe, bue he had never felt lips as soft and willing as Taeil's. Taeil. Who was completely melting into him, into their kiss.

 

They pulled away, their faces still close though, and Taeil had a stunning, beaming smile coloring his expression, eyes shiny, _hair messed up._

 

Kissing Taeil was nothing like he expected. Instead of a short and sweet peck, it was like they had both given all the emotion they never had been able to, because of the cameras, the people, their so called husbands. Kissing him had been the most heat he ever felt while kissing someone. It had been better than he could have ever imagined. 

 

They both smiled, shy and blushed because they both got carried away, and parted ways with the promise of meeting again soon.

 

He didn't go home right away, walked around instead, doing nothing, looking at the wind as he relived every single second of that kiss.

 

                  ---------- 

 

"Yongie?" 

 

Taeyong kept kissing his lips very soflty, smiling as Taeil huffed in frustration, although they both knew he'd always love the younger's soft kisses. 

 

Taeil wondered how he'd gotten this lucky. He did believe in true love, but he never in his whole life would have trusted science to perfectly match two souls. And although he hadn't been matched to Taeyong, they had met _because_ of the show, so who knows, maybe they were supposed to be together from the beginning but there had been some kind of mix up. Still, even if it wasn't, that show had brought so many people together, Daisy and Hongseok, Doyoung and Jaehyun (and Johnny as they had come to find out), Shinwon and Yanan...

 

Even Sicheng and Yuta were now together too, this time without cheating on anyone, and to the astonishment of pretty much everyone, the four of them were good friends. Actually, whenever Yuta and Sicheng went to Korea, they always met up, to spend some time together. It was also no secret Taeil had felt very attracted to Sicheng at the start of the show, so he always liked to comment on it when they were with Taeyong, because he was cute when he pouted.

 

Taeyong. That show had ended up giving him what he was sure was the love of his life, and a whole new family to add to his. The younger's parents were absolute sweethearts, and Donghyuck had stolen Taeil's heart the first day he visited the Lee residence as Taeyong's boyfriend, when the boyinsisted on welcoming him to the family with a warm hug.

 

And now it was funny to look back, at this man that was now caressing his cheek and kissing his lips, and remember how it had been a simple attraction back then, something he even once labeled as "sexual frustration" on a late night when he couldn't fall asleep.

 

As much as it costed him, Taeil eventually had to push Taeyong away gently, even though the latter whined.

 

"Is Hyuck home?"

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes, probably relieved it wasn't anything that would actually make them stop, and Taeil was too because there was no one he wanted more than the man in front of him. The younger spoke in between kisses on his collar bone.

 

"No... He's staying over at Yukhei's." 

 

Taeil nodded, and smiled as Taeyong's lips finally found his again. His boyfriend had decided to take a post-graduation course in dance, after a lot of encouragement from Taeil and Donghyuck, so they moved to an apartment at the center of Seoul, closer to Taeil's jobs and Taeyong's university. It was also a few blocks away from Donghyuck's new school, which he used as an excuse to spend every other week with them. 

 

Basically it meant they didn't get that much time alone where they didn't need to study, or cook, or practice. Today it was Friday though, so it meant he could enjoy Taeyong as much as he wanted.

 

He never got tired of how gently his boyfriend always kissed him. Taeil had had a couple of nice flings here and there, but never had he been treated with so much care as he was now.

 

He had always found Taeyong's personality quite unique, a perfect combination with his singular beauty. He was so good Taeil had genuinely feared, at the start, that he'd find out some terrible trait of Taeyong that the latter kept hidden and would end their relationship. 

 

He ended up realizing Taeyong was simply perfect and there was nothing to it. It probably ran in the family.

 

All in all, going on that date with Taeyong all those months ago had been the best thing he had ever done.

 

"Yongie?"

 

"What now?"

 

He didn't answer that, looked into Taeyong's eyes and kissed him again, and then pushed the younger closer, until he was practically on top of him, his hand ghosting over the other's waistband.

 

Realization seemed to dawn on Taeyong. They had never really gone all the way, always an unspoken decision that they'd wait for the perfect moment.

He kissed Taeil. Gently.

 

"You sure?"

 

"I love you."

 

He always chose to say those words on moments he would be able of perfectly seeing Taeyong's reaction. Because no matter how many times he said it, the younger's eyes would always shine a bit brighter, and he'd show the the happiest smile he had, giggling the words back, in a soft way that probably caused Taeil the exact same reaction. Today was no different.

 

Except after, Taeyong started to kiss him, as gently as always, as if to assure him he would be as careful as possible, and it warmed Taeil in a way no one else could.

 

The younger finally separated himself from him, looking at him from above, a soft smile on his lips as he began a trail of soft kisses on Taeil's face. He started to go down to his neck, and Taeil was already shivering because the brunette sure knew the right places to go.

 

Taeyong pulled of suddenly, smiling at Taeil's disappointed face before taking off his shirt to reveal his skinny upper body. It definitely lacked muscles, but to Taeil it was just as delicate as Taeyong's personality, so it fit him perfectly.

 

He got out of his daze to sit up and take off his own shirt, pulling Taeyong against him to kiss him again, smelling his strawberry shampoo once the other was close enough.

 

They kissed for a while longer before Taeyong slowly pushed him back down again, smiling, giving Taeil the time to back out, but it only made him want him more.

 

"Taeilie..."

 

He smiled, his arms around Taeyong's neck, because the other was so clearly hesitant on making Taeil uncomfortable, and he spoke millimeters away from the younger's lips.

 

"I love you just as much as I did a minute ago."

 

Taeyong looked at him with unspeakable love, and Taeil let himself fall back on the bed.

 

The brunette kissed him again, down to his bare chest.

 

"You have baby skin."

 

Taeyong kissed his stomach, sending shivers through his body.

 

"But I'm a real man down there."

 

Taeyong laughed against his skin, his eyes wrinkling, but Taeil could see he was nervous too, probably as much as he himself was.

 

He extended his hand to Taeyong's hair and ran his fingers through the loose strands.

 

The younger man kissed his hip, his hands tentatively messing with Taeil's waistband. He looked up at the older, and only after another smile did he start to take them off, biting his lip. 

 

Taeil blushed under the other's gaze, suddenly realizing it had been a long time since he had gone to bed with someone.

 

He was brought back by the ghost of a kiss on the inside of his tight, as Taeyong took off his last piece of clothing. 

 

"I feel like I'm about to sleep with an angel." Taeil blushed, a nervous laugh leaving him, so obviously anxious that Taeyong looked him in the eye, before moving forward to kiss him again, on the lips. "You're beyond perfect."

 

Taeil kissed him back with passion, so badly needing to feel his boyfriend close to him, he ignored the urge to remind Taeyong that he was also beyond perfect. 

 

His hands went down to the other's boxers.

 

"Take them off."

 

Taeyong smiled, finally removing his underwear, and Taeil was in a daze as he watched him.

 

Taeyong then leaned down to kiss his neck.

 

"How do you want to do this?"

 

For a moment he got shy, and terribly scared of doing the wrong thing because this was _their_ special moment. But he remembered that it was Taeyong standing on top of him, kissing the tip of his ear with care and tenderness.

 

"I'm..." Taeyong lifted his head to look at him. "I want you to be on top... if that's okay..."

 

Taeyong smiled gently, bending down to kiss his cheek.

 

"That's perfect."

 

He felt his heart absolutely melt and smiled back at his boyfriend, who was busy going through the drawer on his bedside table. He took out the lube.

 

"That's a convenient place to keep it."

 

Taeyong shushed him with a smile, and Taeil was already missing his kisses.

 

The other either read his mind, or also missed kissing him, because he bent down again as soon as he had the lube.

 

"Have you ever done this?"

 

"Not with the most handsome man in the world."

 

Taeyong laughed, then blushed as he covered his finger in lube, and Taeil could only look at him, and wonder how could someone be this beautiful.

 

"Well then it's a first for the both of us."

 

Taeil smiled, closed his eyes as Taeyong moved to kiss him, his hand moving lower. He felt the first finger probing at his entrance before finally entering him, and it had been so long it would have usually hurt, but it didn't. Maybe because Taeyong was kissing him so sweetly and therefore distracting him from any displeasure, or maybe it was simply because _Taeyong_ was the one doing it.

 

"You okay?"

 

He quickly realized Taeyong would be one of those who constantly checked on their partner during sex, and he knew a lot of people found that annoying, but in his case it just warmed his heart, and made him feel the safest he had ever felt.

 

 

"Yes..." Taeyong looked him in the eyes, probably searching for a lie. "You can add more, Yongie."

 

His boyfriend smiled, resumed his kissing, going down to his nipples instead, and added another finger, still so incredibly gentle Taeil could only feel the pleasure. He scissored them open, not asking if the older was okay this time, probably because his moans were enough proof.

 

Taeil's hands were on his boyfriend's hair, partly to push his head back up to kiss his lips, but mainly to somehow caress the other too, because he couldn't be the only one feeling so good.

 

Taeyong stopped adding fingers when he got to three, after he found Taeil's sweet spot and the older became a mess underneath him.

 

"Yongie..."

 

"I got you, love."

 

He whined at the sudden emptiness he felt, but instead of making Taeyong do something again, he took the younger's head in his hands and kissed him. 

 

They both melted into the kiss after a few seconds, and he was so close to Taeyong, feeling his soft, warm skin pressing against his, he felt overwhelmed with love.

 

"Baby, you have to let me go for a moment."

 

Taeyong had been smart enough to know Taeil would blush at the pet name and let go of him, and he couldn't blame him because he probably wouldn't have stopped smooching his boyfriend otherwise. 

 

Taeyong took the lube and covered his cock, finally lining it with Taeil's rim, entering him slowly, but he had been stretched so well and was so turned on it barely burned.

 

He gave him some time to adjust before slowly starting to move, his eyes always searching for Taeil's, to check if he was okay. Maybe if he wasn't so overwhelmed with love and pleasure he would've smiled at his boyfriend and assured him he was being great, everything he could wish for.

 

Taeyong found his sweet spot again fast, and Taeil was already embarrassingly close to his orgasm even before the other's thrusts became more and more desperate.

 

Taeyong leaned down to kiss Taeil's shoulder, his hands stroking the latter's hair, as Taeil's arms went around the younger's back.

 

"Tae..."

 

The name left his mouth in a gasp, as Taeyong finally took a hand to wrap against his cock, and Taeil might have been biased, but his boyfriend absolutely knew what he was doing.

 

A few more thrusts from Taeyong and they were both cumming, with the most pleasured orgasm he had ever had, an "I love you" leaving Taeyong's mouth.

 

He ended up laying on top of Taeil, their legs touching, the younger's head on the pillow beside him, his hand coming to intertwine fingers with Taeil.

 

He moved his head slightly to the side to look at Taeyong better. There was something about him, that even if he wasn't muscled at all, made Taeil feel safe, protected. Like in that moment nothing could ever scare him.

 

"I've never loved anyone as much as I love you." 

 

Taeyong opened his eyes, slowly understanding what had been said, a tired smile lighting up his face. They were both sleepy already, but comfortable in each other's arms.

 

"Me neither, Moonie..." 

 

He couldn't help himself but move a bit forward to plant a kiss on his lover's nose, erupting in giggles once the other did the exact same thing right after.

 

He knew eventually Taeyong would get up to clean himself, because he'd never be able to sleep without being impeccably clean, but he just enjoyed the moment for now.

 

Both of them were as close as possible, Taeyong moving to capture his lips in a slow, sweet kiss, one of his hands moving to play Taeil's hair, and he had never felt more at home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay i cannot believe i just posted smut, awfully written fluff might i add XD well i gave it my best, i hope you dont find it as cringey as i do XD


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here’s the last one!! This is a really small epilogue, but i hope you guys like it!! It’s really just a little something to really end the story! Here it goesss:

 

Taeil sighed as he tried to find the right key to open the door of their building, the cold drops of water falling from the sky and straight into his jacket, making him shiver.

 

He was having a bad day. 

 

It all started when Taeyong wasn't home in the morning, because even though the pancakes his boyfriend had left for him were still sort of warm, he couldn't possible go through a whole day of work without a proper good morning kiss. Key word: proper, because he could bet the whole building on how Taeyong kissed his forehead before leaving.

 

He had still given it the benefit of doubt though, because surely a rainy day and the lack of a good morning kiss couldn't automatically mean bad luck. As proven by the devilish children on the daycare, and the student that stood him up in his own class, it did.

 

He whispered a "thanks" to no one in particular as the door finally opened, and got inside, the only thing keeping him sabe being the though that he would soon see Taeyong, and hopefully his food.

 

He got in the elevator, the back of his head resting against the walls as he mentally counted how close he was to home. He remembered that Donghyuck wouldn't be there, and the smilehe didn't notice he had faltered. Although the promise of peace and quiet should make him relieved, the lack of the younger's warm cuddles really wasn't something he appreciated on a day like this.

 

He stepped out in a slow pace, finally feeling a bit warmer, maybe because he wasn't outside anymore, or maybe because Taeyong was one door away. 

 

A smile was tugging on his lips, but it didn't stay for long, as his key decided not to fit, and he resigned himself to ring the doorbell, because obviously Taeyong had to forget to remove his own key from the door lock on the same day Taeil couldn't wait to get in.

 

He heard a shuffle of footsteps coming, what sounded awfully close to a trip to the ground followed by giggles, and Taeil was already convinced his bad luck had fully ended.

 

"Well, well, w- Taeilie!" Taeyong's smile fell as he took in his boyfriend's tired eyes and wet clothes, and the older watched, amused, as he completely changed into mother hen mode. "Oh goodness, let's get you out of these clothes, my baby's going to catch a cold!"

 

He was obviously in a good mood, tugging Taeil inside by his sleeve, taking off his jacket and hat, hurriedly putting them on the drier with such delicacy at the same time that only he would have been able to pull off.

 

"You better not catch a cold, Hyuckie's coming here in two days and you know he's insufferable when he gets sick." 

 

He was talking rapidly, taking off Taeil's hoodie as if he was a child and handing him a warmer one from their closet, a hurricane of quick yet gentle movements as he got his boyfriend warmer, and the older let him, the bad day slowly getting forgotten. 

 

"I'm not sick, Yongie, just hungry."

 

Taeyong frowned at that, moving his fingers to gently fix the older's fringe that had been messed up by the wind and rain. 

 

"Sorry, Moonie, I got home later than expected, but the food is almost ready!"

 

Taeil sighed and burrowed his head in his boyfriends neck, nuzzling his cheek against the soft sweatshirt he had actually offered him on his last birthday.

 

"It's okay, Yongie." He smiled, knowing Taeyong was probably already a mess of smiles and blushes on top of his head. He loved that boy too much to be possible. "Just stay here hugging me."

 

Taeyong squeezed him harder, but made move to get away, and Taeil immediately started to whine, the younger muttering an excessive amount of "I'm sorry's" in response.

 

"I really have to check on my food!" He kissed Taeil's face a couple of time, squishing his cheeks with an apologetic smile. "You stay here warming yourself up, and I'll call you once dinner is ready!"

 

Taeil sighed as his boyfriend all but ran to the kitchen. Maybe all that energy should make him even more tired, but he found himself feeding on it.

 

He sat on the bed, noticing the sweatpants Taeyong had left there neatly folded, his favourite pair. He smiled as he ran his hands through the soft fabric, deciding to put them on before he got cold.

 

He took out his phone, the only message there being from Doyoung, a selfie of him with his boyfriends, and he smiled fondly before replying. Those three had probably been the oddest pair that left the show, and that really was saying something because he literally switched husbands with Yuta. 

 

He suddenly remembered he was supposed to ask him when he was coming back to Korea, because Taeyong wanted them to have dinner, but the screen of his phone was too bright and Taeil was too lazy, so he decided to text him later and go lie on the couch instead.

 

He was about to enter the living room when a quiet string of curses coming from the kitchen caught his attention.

 

He frowned, because Taeyong wasn't one to curse often, and balanced for a moment his options. His curiosity magically won over his tiredness, and he found himself turning around tothe kitchen.

 

He carefully opened the door, only to see Taeyong inside, his dirty apron on, and with both his hands inside a bowl with dough, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he moved it around.

 

"Yongie?"

 

The younger let out a screech, and the bowl would've flown away hadn't he caught it with his elbows. Taeil moved to help, but his boyfriend turned around, still balancing the bowl in between his arms, nervously eyeing a piece of dough that had landed on the ground, right by his shoes.

 

"No no no! Everything is under control in this kitchen, your higness may wait on the couch."

 

Taeyong gave him a nervous smile as he slowly put the bowl back on the counter and quickly bent down to touch the food on the ground, crouching with his back to Taeil, as if preventing him from seeing the dough.

 

He didn't move, suspiciously eyed his boyfriend instead, who was almost curled in on himself, ignoring the other's presence. Taeil didn't know wether to be worried or amused.

 

"Taeyong?"

 

The boy in front of him sighed, and if Taeil knew him well enough by now, which he did, he was most definitely deciding wether to keep on pretending everything was normal or spitting it out, knowing the older would run with it in both options.

 

Another sigh, and the younger cleared his throat, still not turning around.

 

"Will you pass me the cloth?"

 

Taeil eyed him strangely, and tried not to think too much about what was going on because maybe this was a dream. Maybe he had been asleep the whole day and now he was about to wake up, this time with really hot pancakes and a good morning kiss. After all, in every dream that seemed normal, suddenly everything started to turn upside down. Like right now.

 

He quickly saw the slightly wet cloth placed in a mess on the counter, very unlike Taeyong to do so, and didn't hesitate to get it.

 

The younger turned his head slightly, almost like a wild animal, grabbing the cloth as quickly as possible and cleaning what Taeil assumed were the ground and his hands.

 

He briefly wondered why his boyfriend was making cake in the first place, but he couldn't really suspect that because first, Taeyong was a child when it came to sweets, and second, Donghyuck was coming in two days. 

 

His thoughts were interrupted by Taeyong clearing his throat again, still on the ground, and this time he couldn't keep an amused smile from reaching his lips. His boyfriend only really acted this weird when he was drunk.

 

Taeyong turned around then, still kneeling on the ground, his barely clean hands clasped together as he looked up at Taeil. 

 

The older spoke after a while, when he didn't show any signs that he was ever getting up.

 

"Baby, don't you want to get up?"

 

His voice was sweet, careful, with a hint of teasing that wouldn't go unnoticed. Taeyong let out a laugh as he shook his head, before finally drawing back his left hand, one of his knees coming up, the other straightening to make a 90 degrees angle with the ground, and Taeil's breath caught in his throat.

 

"This wasn't supposed to go this way, but... Moon Taeil. You absolute marvelous angel that fell on my life. I had a whole speech planned and just forgot every word." Taeil covered his mouth with his shaking hand, already getting teary as he noticed Taeyong's own glistening eyes and blushed cheeks, and the thin ring with a very discreet diamond on top, so delicate only his boyfriend could have picked. "I can't believe how lucky I am that of all the common mortals you had to choose from, you ended up sticking with me. It's surreal that I went on that show only two years ago, looking for a soulmate, and actually found one. After a few tries, obviously. You're the peace I never knew I needed, the loveliest person- angel, sorry- I have ever met. I love you." 

 

Tears were flowing down his face as Taeyong's soft, loving words filled the silence of their kitchen, and he had never in all their relationship felt as much love as he did right now. 

 

All he could do was also kneel in front of him, his hands cupping the younger's face, catching the first tear that fell from them.

 

"Taeil, will you give me the honor of adding "Moon" to my name?"

 

He could only nod, let out a wet laugh as Taeyong's shaky fringers enveloped his small hands to put the ring on him. It was still sticky, but Taeil could only cry harder, before throwing himself at the man he loved more than anything, hugging his neck tightly.

 

He wanted to say so much then. 

 

He wanted to tell Taeyong he wasn't an angel, just hopelessly in love with a perfect boy that could master all haircuts and colors possible. He wanted to tell him never in his life had he thought he would find another person who understood him so perfectly, and protected him so fiercely. He  needed to tell him he would love him for the rest of his life without ever getting tired.

 

And he would tell him that, for sure. Just not when tears kept leaking and lips quivering, and the only words that he was being able to whisper over and over were "I do."

 

Maybe he would tell him after the other had stopped kissing the side of his head, or holding onto his sweater.

 

Or maybe he'd write it down, carefully, neatly, and read it aloud on their wedding. 

 

Or maybe not. The food and the rain were far from his thoughts now, and he simply stayed there, tucked into Taeyong, safe in the arms of his beloved boyfriend- fiancé, actually- and after a while, when they were both calmer he turned around to kiss him, and without even noticing he almost sung all the words and sentences he had wanted to say, causing both of them to weep again.

 

But it was okay. He could say them again at their wedding. He could tell him those exact words everyday forever, for as long as their love lasted. 

 

He kissed him again, rested his head on his shoulder as they both started to talk, and laugh, and he eyed his new ring with amazement as Taeyong told him exactly what had been supposed to happen, hadn't Taeil "barged in on their kitchen." 

 

He just smiled fondly, intertwining their fingers. 

 

It wasn't a bad day at all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand thats it!! For everyone that read this story, thank you so much and i hope you liked it and weren’t disappointed with this at any point XD I gave this fic my best, and it probably has a lot of mistakes and there are a lot of parts im not happy with, but I’m still learning so in the future I’m sure my fics will be better!! Also, im going to post a few other works to this collection, centered around other ships in the story! If you want a specific one you can let me know in the comments and I might write it!! Lots of love for my fellow 2tae lovers, and thank you again for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is a very very small prologue! I promise the following chapters will be bigger, and I'll try to post regularly, at least once a week! Although I'll probably post the second chapter sooner because this one was so small... feel free to leave kudos and comments, they make my day!


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